A Preview of Trump’s trip to France

“It should be a very beautiful period of time, the 100th anniversary of the ending of World War I. We have many countries — the leadership from many countries will be there, especially since they heard the United States will be there. And we look forward to that,” Trump told reporters Friday before leaving the White House. “I’ve seen what they have planned, and I think it’s going to be something very, very special.” ( http://www.pbs.org)

And so it begins. Mr. Donald Trump, our current dictator, is the opposite of a vampire as He sees only his reflection in every person he meets, remark he hears and place he visits. Thus it took only a bit of jet lag to label his host’s ideas about a European army, “Very Insulting.” The French may be mad to suggest wasting money to arm themselves against the most armed nation of the world but one must admit France’s leader is clever to know how Trump would take this and almost any other remark personally.

Experts have spent a little time and thought predicting other reactions Trump might have during the upcoming visit.

On visiting WWI battlefields:

” I know that the souls who died here are happy to see me and silently applauding  my efforts to make America as great again as it was in that time when we saved the world. Especially the beautiful nurses, they were beautiful. Why can’t nurses dress like that again instead of wearing formless scrubs? Why can’t they show a little leg? Am I wrong here?

On avoiding the peace talks:

“Melania and I have chosen to use our time more wisely and visit Disney Paris which is a American emblem of Magic and Peace.  The “Fake Peace talks” are for stupid people who think you can talk about peace without me. Instead, we will be dining at Café Mickey in the company of Disney royalty – Goofy, America’s most effective ambassador and  King Louie of The Jungle Book, who is a very interested in learning about fire from me.”

On French food and restaurants:

“The food here is not very fast, very slow. America is much faster at food.  I don’t eat salad but the waiters kept harping at me “t’es un salaud.” And they constantly hard sell some little duck dish. Every time its “t’es rien qu’un petit connard.” If I want duck, I want a big American duck!”

On visiting The Louvre:

“The art here is just great, very moving, very beautiful. I was impressed by how the female body has always been an object of desire. It’s a very natural thing for men to come here to have a good long look at some beautiful women.  Call me crazy but I think the ladies in these paintings were happy to see me too. The Mona Lisa was definitely smiling at me. Really, she gave me a look. I would love to spend some time with her after hours. “

 

But even as the experts guess, Mr. Trump is sure to surprise us with  statements which will make every American visitor after him seem more kind, intelligent and respectful. Thank you for your service!

Steve Sack  Copyright 2017 Cagle Cartoons

(From TheWeek.com)

 

A socio-political analysis of The Meg

 

If you have not yet seen the film “The Meg”, perhaps your fear of giant sharks has impacted your life to the point where you need to seek professional help. You are missing out on one of the most important pieces of socio-political commentary of this century.  I suggest you might allay your fears by looking at the Megalodon as a metaphor.  Approach it as you might a poem, that is with a half of a marijuana cookie.

The Meg is an ancient creature, brought up from the depths as a by-product of a rich guy who wants more fame and fortune.  The Meg is a misunderstood outsider. The Meg does not and can not bargain because he is used to dominating all other creatures since the beginning of time. There is no one more powerful. All polls agree. This is not fake news. Did I mention that The Meg has a very big mouth? It is always opening and closing without any real words coming out. The Meg just devours. That’s what Megs do.

The Meg is attracted to light only to destroy the source of this light. It is not hard to imagine the words, “You’re fired”, coming out of his mouth each time he kills. He is particularly partial to offing whales, which are, of course, an endangered species.

The dilemma the film addresses is:  Should mankind study and respect a creature of this  majesty despite the massive death toll it will bring or should the intelligentsia work to bring The Meg down by any means – bombs, guns, or harpoons through the eyeball. It is with a “Sophie’s Choice” kind of poignance we observe that choice is a forced/ false one as there are always more Megs and the remaining characters, indeed the entire world, may die in the next film.

Jason Statham, however, can not die.  He could, but as a hybrid of John McCain and Bernie Sanders, it is highly unlikely that the franchise could continue. The mega-message here is that, no matter what, the franchise which is The Meg must continue. Statham is its biggest asset.

Like many female movie stars before him, he has probably had to insure his chest. The fact that he does his own stunts makes him a stand-in for the value of authenticity in opposition to The Shark who is made of plastic and gets all his information from the internet.

The meaning of time is also explored in the film.  How many times will The Meg come back? Every four years? How much money did the film receive for featuring the over the top watches which appear in close-ups of every character?

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/meg-dive-watches-ruby-rose-li-bingbing-jason-statham-make-an-impression-1134859

When will the movie end? Isn’t this just Jaws in a time-machine?  Who has the time to work out that much for one shirtless scene?  Isn’t it time that there is more than one black actor per movie and isn’t there time to teach him how to swim? Is the shot of Statham harpooning The Meg a timeless tribute to Captain Ahab or is it just a way to make the film sexier than “Jurassic World”.

Like many works of art – The Meg leaves you with these big questions which you have to answer yourself. Then you may attend the sequel to see if you got them right.

 

 

Getting behind the Wall – Alternative financing should Mexico not pay

 

 Image from askideas.com ( 40 most funny Trump memes)

President elect Trump is exceedingly hopeful in his idea that Mexico will finance The Wall. I am a pessimist yet I believe that if you can’t beat them, attempt to win them over with your wit and wisdom.  Here is my list of ideas for making The Wall more fun and profitable.

1. Offer bricks for sale that can be engraved with the name of your favorite illegal immigrant.

2.Trump Casino inside The Wall and a duty free shop featuring the Trump label a la  Paul Newman brand such as hot sauce, sweet and sour sauce, crack.

3.  Bricks on Mexican side flavored with various Agua Frescas  like Tamarindo and Horchata. Charge per lick.

4. Options available for internment in The Wall or cremation ashes to be mixed into a brick for a small fee.

5. Market mini blow up Walls for backyard barbeques and Cinco de Mayo.

6.  Giant Jenga section of The Wall as an amusement franchise.

7. License areas for International tic tac toe tournaments.

8. Build baseball fields in both The USA and Mexico which back up onto the wall with the option of extra points to be scored if the ball caught has flown over from another country.

9.  Use inside  sections for a Branch of Trump University and a for profit prison for people who have not apologized to Trump or Vice President Pence.

10. Conduct a lottery for passage into the USA based on a Hunger Games like contest.

11. Rent out the top of the wall for beauty pageants,  A Trump fun run or a Texas Rangers Drag show.

12. Rental space for Taco trucks with windows on both sides of the wall.

13.   New Branch of Wall Drug store.

14. Immigrant desert crossing reality TV show.

15.  Get artists to bid on rights to create statues to top The Wall depicting Trump, Putin, Stalin and others who like walls and dislike immigrants.

 

What made me want to write today

1.  Watching the panic over Hilary Clinton’s health.   Let’s admit that all of us are going to die, make mistakes, get sick.  I would rather have a president with a mental or physical illness who gets to know their limits than Trump or Putin who have no limits. Leaders are no longer descendants of the Gods. They should reflect the imperfect population they serve.  We are vulnerable, but in our leaning on others we are better on the whole than those who can not bow due to their rigidity.

2. The 9/11 tribute I just watched was a great example of this. Public Servants did not run away from their job but ran towards it. Even though their lives were in danger. They held each other. They cried. Everyday there are things in this world to cry about. We are lucky enough that there are things to laugh about as well.  When a firefighter is overcome or a fellow social worker breaks down, I don’t laugh or pity them. I may fear that I will be next but I acknowledge my imperfections and move on. I attempt compassion and believe they can recover to what extent they are able with support.

 

3. Pumpkin Cookie Butter ice cream by Tillamook Farms. It has something named “Speculoos” in it.  It tastes good. They could make it anytime of year but it only comes out in fall because there’s a market for it. Its appearance underscores the inventional explosion of Oreo Cookie and Chips Ahoy flavors which are too numerous to name.  FYI, Chips Ahoy filled with brownies is a loser.  Living in a feeding frenzy for “trending” in terms of flavors and media, I want to push back, not just to the basics but to what real creativity is. Putting your own style together, making a recipe with leftovers, throwing some friends together and improvising a script that doesn’t have to be filmed in 3-D, seeing past an illness to the person behind it, and knowing when the rules have begun to break your back then coming up with acceptable alternatives.

As an actor, I enjoy breaking the fourth or fifth wall when it fits the scene. As a clown, I show my dirty laundry for laughs. As a social worker, I  let my heart bleed but keep my head on straight. As a human, I eat my roommate’s crazy flavored ice cream and cry, “O, the humanity!”

Let’s each make our own twisted way in the world today and hope that the weave spins something magical out of us.

 

Pokémon forecast for Anchorage, AK 7/14/2016

Today on the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail it was cloudy with a chance of Pikachu. The pilot of the above helicopter was charging extraordinary large sums to tourists obsessed with Pokémon Go.  This was troubling to every couple I almost mowed down on the trail because they were searching for invisible monsters while their dogs and children obliviously enjoyed the beautiful Anchorage weather. It was about 70 degrees, warm enough to bake me in the costume I’m considering renting tomorrow.  What could be more fun than running through a crowd of people looking down at their cell phones when you’re are professionally dressed as a Pikachu?

This is the gold standard which I will rent if available.

This is adorable but probably difficult to run in considering someone may try to tackle me.

This next guy  is actually labelled “Sexy Pikachu” in the costume listing.

His figure is very similar to mine so I am starting to feel a little sexy. But given that both of these are probably outside my budget I may have to resort to this next costume, which costs about $30 to buy. They wanted $28 dollars to ship it which is common for Alaska if  also stupid. I could run easily in it, wear it to bed, maybe even to work and possible carry candy to throw at people in case they chased me.

I read on Facebook, (I know, not a reliable source, but who needs reliability for these kinds of things), that there were  about 100 people milling around Town Square Park in downtown at 11 pm last night. They were playing Pokémon Go.  I thought we had posted extra police to contain that kind of thing?  Maybe they were police?

Who am I to question this fanaticism? I baked 7 pies this month just so I could have something to look forward to. It’s not like I’m any more mature than these folks. I threw a water balloon at my roommate yesterday and I’m 56 years old. He wasn’t even outdoors. He was sitting at the kitchen table!  I haven’t been blogging lately because I don’t have anything important to say but that doesn’t stop anyone else.

May your world be full of monsters that only you can capture. I was informed that there was a Pigeot or Pigiotto in my kitchen for a short time this morning. My roommate, who does not have a smart phone, was  able to capture it  even though he felt emasculated by having to watch a similar monster prance around across the street.

The sky may be grey tomorrow but wonderful monsters will fall from the sky and  people with funny brains will be out to meet them along with some nut dressed like a Pikachu.

Pokémon GO!

Good Friday Cakes and candies!

Easter Candy has gotten out of control! It’s been jumping into my mouth unbidden for weeks. Tomorrow is Good Friday and I must stop. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that, living in Alaska, I have missed an entire dimension of sweeties – Good Friday treats!  As I was waiting at Walgreens for my antidepressants I saw these.

Theologically illogical

As you know, the cross is a symbol of Good Friday. Easter is after the cross. Easter is The Resurrection and the Easter Bunny, Eggs, Peeps etc.

But these are mass marketed goods. There are much better choices if you choose to celebrate Good Friday with a snack.

Still time to whip some of these up for the work crew tomorrow

Or if you want to impress people with you religious authenticity you might want to purchase one of these.

artisanal Crucifixion

It may not be 85% cacao but I think eating it would keep me up all night. If you want something a little more light hearted, how about these?

Fashion Forward Friday!

This one needs no explanation, or at least none that I can give you.

Pretzel Jesus

I will spare you the cake pops and Cross pops, particularly the baby blue white chocolate versions which I pray are not blueberry or, worse still, razzleberry flavored. Instead let’s move right to the cakes! Here is one which I give points not only for its sincerity but for its execution, no pun intended.

Classy

Technically this is a Christmas cake but just a change the birthday greeting to something referring to his death would make it work.

Lucky for you, I have been doing my research and have located the treasure trove of Good Friday and Religiously themed cakes on the web. You will love the use of a chocolate chip cookie as the stone rolled away from the tomb. Check it out!

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/bella/2013/03/jesus_cakes_easter_fail.php

Happy Good Friday. You really should do The Stations of The Cross this year to make up for all these calories. Don’t forget your Fitbit!

Closing up The Halloween Store and other spooky adventures

I have been blessed and spooked by my temp job at The Halloween store.

My first observation – My God! What kind of world do I live in? There is absolutely nothing anyone needs to buy in this store and yet people are. I bought my fair share today on 50% off day.

Want to know what people got? Rick Grimes. I have never seen Walking Dead and probably never will but I know what he wears.

I wish I had come up with that caption but I am too uninformed.

Most asked question:  Do you have the mask from  (fill in  comic  book/horror film/cosplay which I ( the writer) have never heard of). Describe it as a kind of a white mask.  My answer to this is, ” I heard they have him at Hot Topic downstairs.”

Oh another most asked question, “Does my butt hang out of the back of this, ( fill in your choice of nurse, soldier, convict, policewoman, first mate outfit)?”  My answer: “You can wear leggings.”

Scariest question: ” Do you have a Slender Man costume?”

Looks like me and my father

What did I buy? I bought only things I could wear on a regular basis such as some lovely red dalek knee socks and a waist cincher that turns any skirt into a pirate/peasant/hippie dress.  I also got a Pirate over the shoulder bag which will be my new go to bag for when I just want to carry my id and a key while riding my bike or on board a leaky boat, (it’s 100% plastic, thus waterproof.)  I dressed in my own private pirate wear for Halloween. One of the basic pieces is a pair of bright red balloon pants I got in Paris.  Some times people are confused because it is not the sexiest of pirate looks. I tell them that middle aged pirates are meaner.

 

The hair scares young people to death!

I got some funny items to use for dramatherapy which is another one of my work identities. These  costumes are silly so that individuals and families can have fun with their issues. They are easy to characterize and don’t take much fit. Best of all they were free discontinued items such as The Annoying Orange, and Framed art work into which you can put your own head such as a self portrait of Van Gogh and American Gothic.

I made my own costume for a party I went to.  I tried to think of the thing most everyone  fears the most. Gluten. I wore all tan, drew on an eye mask, taped the  title “Gluten girl” on my tee shirt, used an old sheet for a cape, wore brown stockings and carried a loaf of bread.   Two people immediately announced that they were Celiac  ( about 1 in one hundred are) and the majority of the rest admitted they were gluten intolerant.  It wound up that the minority of people at this event could actually eat gluten. I persisted in hitting all the gluten haters with my loaf of bread until they laughed.  I could have come as halitosis or herpes and started fewer health related discussions. Gluten freeness is the new Stay Free Mini pad.

I love how I look bloated with carbs here

Did I mention I have half a pizza box on my head as a helmet?

Now let’s show you a really scary picture. I was hiking up a mountain with some friends the other day.  It was very misty and we couldn’t see much. We thought the climb would be worth the view on the top but the view was like this.

This was actually the furthest we could see on the whole trip.

But look what I got a  nice clear shot of.

Clearly droppings from a bear who likes berries

On a happier note, The Halloween store provides a bit of joy and laughter to the world. There is an ice rink in the mall where I saw a fine adult skater wearing one of our “Ollie the Ostrich” costumes which makes you look like you are riding on the bird’s back. It made me proud.

Three cheers for goofy people!

Anxiety woman toils at The Halloween Store

Anxiety Woman is having many adventures this year on her journey to a new career.  Listening to “Highway to Hell” punctuated by feline screams and pronouncements from various demons regarding,  “Eating my brains,” is a new treat.

I get nervous when I’m unemployed.  I get nervous when I work.  I prefer to be paid for being nervous.  This allows me to eat when I’m nervous which is comforting.

The shop which graciously took me in, (the only one out of 4 to which I applied), is very large and busy. I am grateful for this as working in a Halloween Store was on my unconscious bucket list.  I did not realize I wanted to until this week when traveling the world on as a cook on a freighter appeared to require more planning.    I like zombies, sci fi,  glitter, and  bright day of the dead colors, ( there is an entire day of the dead section.)    Being old means I had to learn who Bain is, Harley Quinn and all of Monster High.

Nothing to do with Commedia Delle Arte and everything to do with Batman

There’s a Duck Dynasty aisle, a Walking Dead aisle, Game of Thrones,  a small Hogwarts section and a non-existent Frozen section due to it being sold out within a week of opening.  Freddy and Jason co-exist as do vampires and hippies, Hunger Gamers and Cavemen.

new Alaska occupational code: Reefer Nurse

Most of the store, however is dedicated to sexy ladies.   Almost all the people trying on costumes are normal sexy ladies trying to look like the impossible  blonde, buxom, airbrushed babes on the costume packages. The ladies are good natured enough about trying hard to pretend. We only have one mirror in the dressing room, that helps.  But it may take trying on up to 6 costumes such as Heartbreaker Nurse, Say Ah nurse, Nurse Knockout, Cardiac Arrest Nurse, Hot Flash Nurse and Army Nurse  to figure out that beauty doesn’t come in a 3 foot colored swatch of spandex.   It’s then  difficult for me to repackage said nurse uniforms and find which section to which they return. Some go on the sexy wall, some with the branch of military service, some on the discount rack.  Just so you don’t think women are being stereotyped into one sexy occupation, there are just as many variations on the themes of women cops and convicts.

Alaska State Troopers – Look out!

There are so many rules about the dressing rooms and so much traffic that I make lots of mistakes. I let people go in together, (a big no-no), sometimes I let them take in more than two items especially when they seem to be just sequined superhero underoos.  No one seems inclined to steal the costumes as many don’t fit. No one so far has had sexual relations behind the curtains but this is a worry for management.   I have been “reminded” of the rules. I continue to forget because I think I am at a party, not at a job.  If I had my way I would just send everyone out with a Minion costume.

There is also a VERY adult aisle where most of the humor hinges on penises and testicles such as the  giant squirrel holding his nuts. I have not sold any of these. I did sell a number of items to people running a costume road race this weekend. One man will be wearing a fabric milk carton with his face stuck  inside  the  “Missing Child” frame.  Another runner grabbed the last Tardis tank top which I had my eyes on. This is for the best as I spent $200. at the psychiatrist’s this morning and can not be using my $9/hr to purchase fancy dress items, even with my $25 % discount.

After about three hours of work I get  irritated at The Guantanamo Bay Dummy who shrieks unexpectedly while banging his hooded head against the wall.  I can’t imagine a combat vet would do well in this store.   This being Alaska, there are many fake guns available which, in the dark,  may be mistaken by cops who are carrying real guns.  There are also fancy fake knives, swords, axes and giant hammers like the one used by The Mighty Thor. Do real toy stores stock such items? Perhaps, but not in such profusion.  The loudness, the abundance of violence and the  amount of money spent on this holiday is shocking, but on the other hand, very American and  indicative of a healthy economy.

It goes well with grey hair!

Next week we get to wear costumes and  hand out candy on the holiday of Halloween which ends my festive month long season of employment. That is if I don’t get fired for shaking too much, something that was brought to my attention by an iphone obsessed co-worker who shall remain unnamed.   She wondered why I never stop moving. I wondered silently why she even cared.  I am a bit overstimulated by the environment but I think this is better than being totally tuned out.   I would not mind wearing the sexy mummy costume next week but I will probably settle for The Salem Witch which is not as popular and therefore available in my size.  With my height it might even be strangely short and sexy.   That’s a bit creepy, but perfect for the season.

Just like home!

Anxiety woman peruses The NY Times for possible birthday gifts

I could have scanned the ad inserts from Fred Meyers and J C Penney in the local rag, The Alaska Dispatch, but this was much more depressing, right up my alley. My birthday comes but once a year and this is a marvelous way to prepare. Find all the expensive rubbish you don’t need and vow not to buy it, nor receive it.  It’s like vowing never to marry, you may actually be fighting off the offers.  So without ado, here’s my non-wish list.

Upscale serenity

 

 Just say NO to Meditation Bells

These things are crazy! Are all Buddhists nuts or just The rich American ones?  These look like the bells that the Altar boys rang in Catholic Church when we said “Body of Christ.” Did Jesus/Buddha really like tinkly bells and bling? Perhaps just the priests?  Isn’t a diamond studded meditation bell a little like a diamond studded social security card? I never understood the diamond studded crosses either. What would Jesus wear?

 

Instead get me chocolate

 

 

Respect lost? Priceless!

 

No, I do not want  “One more day in Vegas”

= one more STD, one more night searching for my room in a vast sea of what looks like corridors of a state penitentiary,  one more false expectation that I will meet the love of my life and he won’t have a drink and a cigarette in his hand.

Instead see above

 

And it is the path more traveled by

 

NO! NOT Another Inspirational handbook for changing my life/the world. If I was able to help myself, don’t you think I would have done so by now? Do I still believe that helping others is going to make me happy? That maneuver gets old quickly. Why are we put on this world? Only God know, so don’t over think it. That’s my new Golden Rule.

I can’t handle any more advice on how to get a man, get a job or get happy. I have chocolate for the last one and I think it may work for the other two if just I got more creative. I’m aware that escaping into chocolate won’t save the world since there are people who are actually allergic to it just like  they are to gluten and exercise . I am also aware that most people change the world without ever knowing it,  getting paid for, or publishing about it.

This particular book, “A Path Appears,” is universally liked by both movie stars and mystics.  Should there be a shortage, I will be doing my part by doing without it.  I am more likely to change the world by making a complete fool of myself and creating a bit of  unintentional laughter in my wake.  One more piece of information on how to be more effective in my life might fire up the overdoing, people pleasing urges which have already almost brought me to ruin. Please stop the presses, and the facebook game apps (available tie in with  sister book, “Half The Sky.”)

 

NO.   NO.   NO! to gigantic metallic accessories!

Hope you got your matching dental grilles

I love glitter  because it is not gold. These cameras are not as funny as the Flavor Flav clocks. No they are more like golden tennis rackets or golf clubs presented to winners at the country club tournament.  How would I know? I don’t know. I’m making this all up because I have issues and need to complain about something.

 

These are classy, if you have the record to pull them off.

I haven’t been to jail so I don’t think I would look right walking around with an electronic ankle bracelet or gigantic lock and chain just for fun. They look tiny here but the effect is something like observing a smiling extra in Twelve Years a Slave.

 

Here is an entire outfit I don’t want or need. Do you?

Never sit on the grass wearing white!

The coat is made of white plastic so perhaps that is why the model looks so uncomfortable. She can wipe that clean but the $4000 skirt can not touch the ground.   I have an idea for a TV series. Sr. Bertrille, The Flying Nun, crash lands during a hurricane. She winds up an unwilling contestant on Survivor. Would you vote her off the island and bring on the wrath of God?

 

I still have lots to read of this Sunday’s NY Times  so there are plenty more things to not want. I have my paper, and that will be recycled, eventually.

Happy birthday to me!

 

 

 

At the cutting edge of advanced clown technology

 

I heard it on the radio. I knew it was wrong because I am at the forefront of clown technology and I was not familiar with the advertiser.  Maybe I’m falling behind? I have the unicycle, the stilts, the juggling pins, foam rubber nose, but cutting edge clowning is about being up to date on the personal irony of your own existence in this sorry world. I could make a video showing me downing hundreds of chocolates with my smile growing outlandishly until the thrill of being an adult child reverses into the awareness of being a dyspeptic  fool.  I could try to smother myself with a pillow on you tube while whittling away an evening of insomnia or trim my toenails with my fancy new zoloft cutter.  Perhaps I heard the ad wrongly and they were talking about some type of internet storage?

I just read a want ad for the Little Red School House.” Prefer a CDA, and experience in ECE.” I don’t know those acronyms – Certified Drug Addict? Criminal Defense Attorney? Elementary Classroom Education or  Excitable Children Expert?  Written in bold was the phrase Needs to be: followed by the words “Professional”, “Efficient”, “Despondent” and “Responsible.”  I might have read them wrong. I was too depressed to put on my glasses.

Life is full of misunderstandings. The free market thrives on them. I bought five necklaces I didn’t need  just about the time I realized I needed glasses. I thought they were a bargain at $10 for the bunch.  The price was much larger than the font used to print it. I see a big delicious burger on a crystal stand  in a private McDonald’s Club to which only superstar basketball players and flamenco dancers are welcome.  Am I hungry for the burger or the fame or inclusion?  I admit I already belong to a McDonald’s Club of sorts. When I go in for my fish sandwich, I am often greeted by name and  leave to the tune of “See you tomorrow.” McDonald’s is where everybody knows my name. Shouldn’t that make me sad?

It’s so confusing that I have to turn off the television and watch an old Disney film – Pollyanna!  Just think good thoughts, people and the world can change. You might even walk again and even if you don’t everyone will like you and no one will give up on you. I want to believe it but I can scarcely believe my own hopefulness. I’m the clown of hope. Perhaps I don’t have any at all but I like to instill it in others just as a cruel experiment? Now that’s the cutting edge of clown technology!