If the First Star Trek movie with Chris Pine is free on Amazon Prime, I must be old. I recall an evening when I wounded myself trying to open a can of baked beans too quickly in order not to miss William Shatner intone, “Space the final frontier…” I drenched a towel with blood for what is known as a half of an hour before proceeding to sick bay. This was so long ago that I had no health insurance and yet I was somehow able to pay the bill at the ER. Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t living in my future, in Alaska where doing this would require a second job.
I believe in the idea of a Stardate calendar. There is no day or night. If there is, it’s often much shorter or longer than those of my previous experience on the planet Earth. The 24 hour clock is very useful to some people but in Alaska it is skewed enough that I feel like I am on another planet. Consider that it is 10:15 pm, the birds are very loud. They are probably mating, like the newly minted royal couple. There is a party across the street and since there is no snow and just the bare suggestion of a future leaf on the trees, the echo of human celebration is significant. They are celebrating someone or something other than royalty. It goes without saying that although it has been cloudy and cool for the month of May, it has not been dark.
Within this strange world, plants and people become cranky. My lawn grows overnight, yet planting a vegetable outdoors before Memorial Day is surely folly. I stay up late streaming films starring people younger than me all the while falling in love with them as if time does not exist. With little sleep, I cried while showing Roman Holiday at the Skilled Nursing facility where I work, if you can call that work. I enjoy myself far too much to be paid for what I do. When I am around older people I don’t feel as much loss because we are, many of us, so lucky to still be alive. When my stardate expires I’m sure that no one will remember today but I will have lived it and that is enough.
This day, my day, a man at a bus stop called my pants “phantasmagorical.” This day, I went to bed at 6 pm and felt empathy with the people I serve who say they can not possibly get out of bed even to see the sun, eat cotton candy or pet a rabbit. I did get out of bed though because I know that my mind and my body are not in sync.
The Universe is expanding and I am too young to contract because I am privileged to be alive at this time period of human existence. Teenagers died yesterday. I have my theories why this happened but a thousand years from now these theories will be considered quaint. The death of American teenagers may not even be a blip in a life in crisis today or tomorrow on the other side of the planet. As humans we are able to function in a chaotic galaxy by focusing on what we need and what we can change. Energy spent outside of that is extraordinary. An example of this would be the Choctaw nation who in 1847 sent a donation of $170 to Ireland to help relieve the suffering of the Irish during the Great Potato Famine. This is something that should live forever in memory, longer than a school shooting or a royal wedding. Here is a photo of the Kindred Spirits sculpture which commemorates that gift in Midleton, East Cork where my grandmother went to school.
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This blog serves as something like a ship’s log. My journey is a strange one where many of the adventures come from the inside or from the mundane details of life on the edge of the far north. I admit that my life is not as beautiful as the wedding of the decade or as tragic as the mass murder of the day but I am a soul who seeks to know themselves and that is enough. I try to give small gifts from my chest of riches and do not expect a monument, not even a “like” for a post, at least this is what I strive for, some humility, and peace in speaking my mind even if the only one who benefits from it is me. Just for today, whatever that may be. Kirk out.