RSS Feed

Tag Archives: pop culture

What is today, anyway?

Posted on

If the First Star Trek movie with Chris Pine is free on Amazon Prime, I must  be old.  I  recall an evening when I wounded myself trying to open a can of baked beans too quickly in order not to miss William Shatner intone, “Space the final frontier…”  I drenched a towel with blood for what is known as a half of an hour before proceeding to sick bay.  This was so long ago that I had no health insurance and yet I was somehow able to pay the bill at the ER.  Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t living in my future, in Alaska where doing this would require a second job.

I believe in the idea of a Stardate calendar. There is no day or night. If there is, it’s often much shorter or longer than those of my previous experience on the planet Earth. The 24 hour clock is very useful to some people but in Alaska it is skewed enough that I feel like I am on another planet. Consider that it is 10:15 pm, the birds are very loud. They are probably mating, like the newly minted royal couple. There is a party across the street and since there is no snow and just the bare suggestion of a future leaf on the trees, the echo of human celebration is significant. They are celebrating someone or something other than royalty. It goes without saying that although it has been cloudy and cool for the month of May, it has not been dark.

Within this strange world, plants and people become cranky. My lawn grows overnight, yet planting a vegetable outdoors before Memorial Day is surely folly.  I stay up late streaming films starring people younger than me all the while falling in love with them as if time does not exist. With little sleep, I cried while showing Roman Holiday at the Skilled Nursing facility where I work, if you can call that work. I enjoy myself far too much to be paid for what I do. When I am around older people I don’t feel as much loss because we are, many of us, so lucky to still be alive. When my stardate  expires I’m sure that no one will remember today but I will have lived it and that is enough.

This day, my day, a man at a bus stop called my pants “phantasmagorical.”  This day, I went to bed at 6 pm and felt empathy with the people I serve who say they can not possibly get out of bed even to see the sun, eat cotton candy or pet a rabbit.  I did get out of bed though because I know that my mind and my body are not in sync.

The Universe is expanding and I am too young to contract because I am privileged to be alive at this time period of human existence. Teenagers died yesterday. I have my theories why this happened but a thousand years from now these theories will be considered quaint.  The death of American teenagers may not even be a blip in a life in crisis today or tomorrow on the other side of the planet. As humans we are able to function in a chaotic galaxy by focusing on what we need and what we can change. Energy spent outside of that is extraordinary.  An example of this would be the Choctaw nation who in 1847 sent a donation of $170 to Ireland to help relieve the suffering of the Irish during the Great Potato Famine.  This is something that should live forever in memory, longer than a school shooting or a royal wedding. Here is a photo of the Kindred Spirits sculpture which commemorates that gift in Midleton, East Cork where my grandmother went to school.

KindredSpiritssculptureMidleton_large

Read more about this here:

https://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/choctaw-chief-to-mark-midleton-sculpture-dedication-451850.html

 

 

This blog serves as something like a ship’s log. My journey  is a strange one where many of the adventures come from the inside or from the mundane details of life on the edge of  the far north.  I admit that my life is not as beautiful as the wedding of the decade or as tragic as the mass murder of the day but I am a soul who seeks to know themselves and that is enough. I try to give small gifts from my chest of riches and do not expect a monument, not even a “like” for a post, at least this is what I strive for, some humility, and peace in speaking my mind even if the only one who benefits from it is me.  Just for today, whatever that may be. Kirk out.

 

 

Advertisements

Socially responsible ways to dispose of leftover Valentine’s Day Candy

 

chocolate

Donate to a starving male figure skater.

Send to the NRA, with congratulations for latest success story in their struggle to preserve the Right to Bear Arms.

Save for science fair project on the future of the U.S. coal industry. Remind judges that lumps of sugar are more dangerous to our health than lumps of coal.

Bring to Border Wall testing site to see if candy can be thrown over wall prototypes. This will be especially appreciated if the candy is made with cannabutter.

Mail off melted bits to 23 and Me to trace artisanal lineage then repatriate candy to its ancestral homeland.

While streaming calming music of the rainforest, place candies in lukewarm water and slowly heat until the skins of the candies are scalded off. Turn up music if the sound of chocolate screaming becomes too disturbing. Distill into a mug and top with mini marshmallows.

Contact Health Dept. who will dispatch Haz-Mat team to deliver items to sole resident of your area who is not on Keto diet.

Deliver to White House so our President can throw bon-bons at citizens the next time he visits Puerto Rico.

Address them to your Senator or Congressman with love from a member of the opposing party.

Pack with emergency supplies for next viewing of State of The Union Address.

 

 

Thanks for reading. I had to take a break from blogging. Now I need to return so that I can laugh again.

What to do about The President

Just for a change, I’m going to give you the title of this painting—The Princess picking lice from the Troll—because I don’t think that knowing what it’s about will be too much of a limitation. Why a princess is sitting in a darkened room picking lice out of a troll’s fur is up to you. […]

via Sunday Strange microfiction challenge — Jane Dougherty Writes

 

My response:

You’re so vain. Let’s give up this charade. Not that shaving your head will help your brain but it may improve your image and that’s what you care about isn’t it? I understand that you can’t trust anyone but your family to help you rule but what if you actually hired a competent hairdresser? Is that too much to ask? It’s hard being a princess these days and I could use a tiny office in The White House to get my thoughts together. Just think about it.

Another idea. Maybe if you didn’t mess around with every person who annoys you, you might not be in such a tangle. You’re coming across as a troll, up all night monitoring the net for fake news. The more you lie to combat perceived slights, the more wild your hair gets. Every evening it takes me a longer time to straighten you out. Pretty soon, it will be beyond me.

Did you ever see the play “Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson?” I highly recommend it. Meanwhile, can we do this somewhere besides your dungeon? It smells of Democrats down here.

Closing up The Halloween Store and other spooky adventures

I have been blessed and spooked by my temp job at The Halloween store.

My first observation – My God! What kind of world do I live in? There is absolutely nothing anyone needs to buy in this store and yet people are. I bought my fair share today on 50% off day.

Want to know what people got? Rick Grimes. I have never seen Walking Dead and probably never will but I know what he wears.

rick

I wish I had come up with that caption but I am too uninformed.

Most asked question:  Do you have the mask from  (fill in  comic  book/horror film/cosplay which I ( the writer) have never heard of). Describe it as a kind of a white mask.  My answer to this is, ” I heard they have him at Hot Topic downstairs.”

Oh another most asked question, “Does my butt hang out of the back of this, ( fill in your choice of nurse, soldier, convict, policewoman, first mate outfit)?”  My answer: “You can wear leggings.”

Scariest question: ” Do you have a Slender Man costume?”

Looks like me and my father

Looks like me and my father

What did I buy? I bought only things I could wear on a regular basis such as some lovely red dalek knee socks and a waist cincher that turns any skirt into a pirate/peasant/hippie dress.  I also got a Pirate over the shoulder bag which will be my new go to bag for when I just want to carry my id and a key while riding my bike or on board a leaky boat, (it’s 100% plastic, thus waterproof.)  I dressed in my own private pirate wear for Halloween. One of the basic pieces is a pair of bright red balloon pants I got in Paris.  Some times people are confused because it is not the sexiest of pirate looks. I tell them that middle aged pirates are meaner.

 

1031142049a

The hair scares young people to death!

I got some funny items to use for dramatherapy which is another one of my work identities. These  costumes are silly so that individuals and families can have fun with their issues. They are easy to characterize and don’t take much fit. Best of all they were free discontinued items such as The Annoying Orange, and Framed art work into which you can put your own head such as a self portrait of Van Gogh and American Gothic.

I made my own costume for a party I went to.  I tried to think of the thing most everyone  fears the most. Gluten. I wore all tan, drew on an eye mask, taped the  title “Gluten girl” on my tee shirt, used an old sheet for a cape, wore brown stockings and carried a loaf of bread.   Two people immediately announced that they were Celiac  ( about 1 in one hundred are) and the majority of the rest admitted they were gluten intolerant.  It wound up that the minority of people at this event could actually eat gluten. I persisted in hitting all the gluten haters with my loaf of bread until they laughed.  I could have come as halitosis or herpes and started fewer health related discussions. Gluten freeness is the new Stay Free Mini pad.

I love how I look bloated with carbs here

I love how I look bloated with carbs here

Did I mention I have half a pizza box on my head as a helmet?

Now let’s show you a really scary picture. I was hiking up a mountain with some friends the other day.  It was very misty and we couldn’t see much. We thought the climb would be worth the view on the top but the view was like this.

This was actually the furthest we could see on the whole trip.

This was actually the furthest we could see on the whole trip.

But look what I got a  nice clear shot of.

Clearly droppings from a bear who likes berries

Clearly droppings from a bear who likes berries

On a happier note, The Halloween store provides a bit of joy and laughter to the world. There is an ice rink in the mall where I saw a fine adult skater wearing one of our “Ollie the Ostrich” costumes which makes you look like you are riding on the bird’s back. It made me proud.

Three cheers for goofy people!

Three cheers for goofy people!

Was Noah the first Viking?

Posted on

Was not surprised to see “Noah” was already playing at the 2nd run cinema up the street. I was surprised to learn that he was a vegetarian Viking.

Here is Ragnar, the “Noah” of the TV series “Vikings”

Ragnar getting ready to build an ark

Ragnar getting ready to build an ark

 

 

Here is Noah after killing about a thousand people with the help of his rock band

So you had a bad day....

So you had a bad day…..

 

 

Not to belabor the point but doesn’t this guy look like he fell from the same tree?

The God of thunder says it's gonna rain for a long time

The God of thunder says it’s gonna rain for a long time

 

Is it a coincidence or an omen that Anthony Hopkins is in both Thor and Noah?

What movie am I in now?

What movie am I in now?

 

ah, this is the movie where I like berries!

ah, this is the movie where I like berries!

 

Then there’s the fraggle rock creatures who are disappointed in the human race but help Noah build the ark because he kind of reminds them of Adam.  I admit, at first I thought they were an entirely fictitious departure from the biblical text until I saw this.

Thor battling the last of Noah's rock warrior angels

Thor battling the last of Noah’s rock warrior angels

 

If that’s not proof of The Circle of Life then I don’t know what is!  Remember we’re all a little Viking, so  watch yourself around hammers and axes.  If you become obsessed with building a big boat and killing lots of people, you might want to chill.  One thing I did learn from the movie Noah is that vegetarians can be just as dangerous as people who eat meat.

 

 

 

Some silly questions about the Grammys

bee

1.  It’s not called “Mexican Lucky?” That’s how I found it on Youtube!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI1hGShVdBA

2.   Did the Olympics start early? Is this why Pink was doing gymastics rather than singing?

3.  Why does everyone look like they’re suffering so much? My guess is it’s really not as much fun to perform for money as it is for pleasure.

4.  Can Daft  Punk wear their headgear at the airport?

5. I don’t want to be royal or be your queen bee, I just want to be a middle class yellow jacket. I guess that’s not a question, just a comment.

 6. The way people talk about Beyonce, doesn’t it sound like her voice is the last thing on people’s minds?

7.  How come I’m younger than everyone in Black Sabbath, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr by more than a decade yet my hair is so much greyer?  Isn’t there a line in Photograph –“ as the years go by and we turn old and grey?”

8.  At my age, if I know the lyrics, shouldn’t the song be excluded from the new artists category?

9. I like how Madonna chose a lilac girdle, fitting a woman of my age. Will the Norwegian Curling Team be following this trend?

10.  When someone says “I feel it in my bones”, do you think radioactive or  arthritis?

11.  Don’t Christmas lights on tuxedos and cowboy boots remind you of disco?

12. I was so impressed that Taylor Swift played the piano as well as sang. Does that mean that my expectations for musicianship have sunk lower than the Grammy’s?

13. Reverend Moon, wouldn’t he have been proud?

Why I like being Darth Vader

  Did you take that Star Wars quiz on Facebook? Admit it, you’ld rather take a projective test like this than go to a therapist.   I won the grand prize – Darth Vader-dom!

Here’s why.

  1.    Pleased with shiny things like a polished black helmet

2.         Enjoy hearing myself breathe

3.       Not a lot of lines to memorize because the cape does the talking

Image

4.       Like my chocolate on the dark side

5.         Have fun promenading around with the other Sith Lords

Image

6.     The remote is right on my chest – don’t get grabby!

Image

7.      Meaner than Springsteen on the mouth organ

Image

8.        TSA misses light saber every time

9.   .     Get to hang with The Terminator at Evil Villain Meet Ups

10.     Better looking as  I age