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Grateful to Donald Trump

I am grateful never to have been assaulted by Mr. Trump. I am not a 10, I am not a number. I was surprised to find his campaign did not send either a picture or other identifying information for The Alaska Voter’s pamphlet. I am grateful he has forgotten since maybe that will deter a few people who might assume he is not on the ballot in our state.

The only time anyone has ever grabbed me by the crotch, I was walking in East Oakland after dark with grocery bags in each hand. A man grabbed me from behind using my crotch as a lever to rub against him. He was a special needs man and laughed at me when I cursed him.  This is who I think of when I think of Donald Trump.

I  am grateful to have made it this far in my life without a serious sexual assault. Of course there is still time. Even in nursing homes, where people don’t generally go looking for “10’s, there are assaults. That’s because  sexual assault isn’t about people being attractive. It’s about dominance and power. You could say it’s about wanting to be more like  Mr.Trump.

When I worked in mental health, I reminded people on outings that no one was going to comment on someone’s body in the YMCA locker room because everyone was trying their best to mind their own business and not attract attention to their own body. Most locker rooms are like this. I imagine Donald does not go to The YMCA very much. It’s easier to criticize other people’s bodies when you have a private pool.

Another great gift is Trump’s focus on  Making America White again.   Even the earliest migrations to America were successful due to the enslavement of people of color to build their settlements.   One can only be as rich as Trump by using other people’s labor to build an empire.  Queen Victoria, Big Cotton, Microsoft, Big Pharma,  The Holy Romans, Game of Thrones, your average workplace, they all insist that that human sacrifices must be made and those who make them will be rewarded.  Most of us spend our time trying to  be one even if it means that number two and number 200,141 resent us. Americans don’t like being average people. We want to be superstars and mavericks. I can’t imagine Trump saying that he would take a pay cut before laying off workers.  I could stand for making America mediocre but more equitable.

The Black Lives Matter Movement threatens the Trump hierarchy which puts police and the military and other corporations on top when actually these public servants are policing people who are their equals not scum. It is important to deal carefully with  those who disrupt public order. The most dangerous and despicable  deserve a trial as well as those with mental health issues. Many cultures question the death sentence but we hand these out daily on the streets of America.

Recently, it was suggested we start a neighborhood patrol or neighborhood watch for our street in Anchorage.  Burglaries are up. There have been several murders. One neighbor suggested we need people with military and police training to take part. I would say train the police to be less like the military and more like peace keepers. Let the neighborhood watch create a lively interaction between people who are looking out for each other and can help by banding together when in need.

Guns should be for getting food. I am not sure how guns figure in Donald Trumps life but they are implements of domination that I could live without. I appreciate that he is pro-gun because it makes it clearer that I need to be on the other side.

You may not agree that Donald Trump is a mirror of our inner will to dominate the world.  I think most will agree that he makes Kim Kardashian look like a potential write in candidate.  I wish you merry voting and a happy new era.

What made me want to write today

1.  Watching the panic over Hilary Clinton’s health.   Let’s admit that all of us are going to die, make mistakes, get sick.  I would rather have a president with a mental or physical illness who gets to know their limits than Trump or Putin who have no limits. Leaders are no longer descendants of the Gods. They should reflect the imperfect population they serve.  We are vulnerable, but in our leaning on others we are better on the whole than those who can not bow due to their rigidity.

2. The 9/11 tribute I just watched was a great example of this. Public Servants did not run away from their job but ran towards it. Even though their lives were in danger. They held each other. They cried. Everyday there are things in this world to cry about. We are lucky enough that there are things to laugh about as well.  When a firefighter is overcome or a fellow social worker breaks down, I don’t laugh or pity them. I may fear that I will be next but I acknowledge my imperfections and move on. I attempt compassion and believe they can recover to what extent they are able with support.



3. Pumpkin Cookie Butter ice cream by Tillamook Farms. It has something named “Speculoos” in it.  It tastes good. They could make it anytime of year but it only comes out in fall because there’s a market for it. Its appearance underscores the inventional explosion of Oreo Cookie and Chips Ahoy flavors which are too numerous to name.  FYI, Chips Ahoy filled with brownies is a loser.  Living in a feeding frenzy for “trending” in terms of flavors and media, I want to push back, not just to the basics but to what real creativity is. Putting your own style together, making a recipe with leftovers, throwing some friends together and improvising a script that doesn’t have to be filmed in 3-D, seeing past an illness to the person behind it, and knowing when the rules have begun to break your back then coming up with acceptable alternatives.

As an actor, I enjoy breaking the fourth or fifth wall when it fits the scene. As a clown, I show my dirty laundry for laughs. As a social worker, I  let my heart bleed but keep my head on straight. As a human, I eat my roommate’s crazy flavored ice cream and cry, “O, the humanity!”

Let’s each make our own twisted way in the world today and hope that the weave spins something magical out of us.


Why I should never read the fashion section of The Sunday NY Times

I get ideas. I already had this idea or rather I stole it from a clown in Australia who works with the elderly. He dresses like a bellhop because a nursing home can be like a hotel and he makes it just a little more spiffy. I ordered a red jacket online that was pretty cheap but could pass as a hotel uniform. It has not arrived yet but I can show you the hat.

It’s made from a chicken pot pie box, some tape, glue, material, ribbon and a shoestring. It shows a total disregard for measurement. My roommate calls it the pot pie hat. Then I thought of Pol Pot and wondered what kind of hat he wore. 

There were no hats like this one in the Sunday paper although there was a page honoring Madame du Pompadour with some lovely pinks and shoes to die for. 

I’ll post another photo when the jacket comes in.

Where have I been? What have I done?

I haven’t been writing because my computer is trashed. This is being written on my mini droid. I have been trying to get out and live the summer life, as in playing bar trivia with my roommate above. 

Here are some of the many berries I picked and ate this summer.I have managed not to turn on the television since May. 

And a city of fungus I passed on a hike.

Here is my friend St. Francis setting sail on a mushroom cap in our rain swamped yard.

What I look like when I have prepared for a commercial shoot which was cancelled due to rain but allowed me a two hour nap before having to go back to work.

Imagine that. It’s raining even now but we did get a mighty rainbow last week. Maybe after the big election we will see a rainbow of sorts. We can only hope and vote.

The fair starts this week so there will probably be more rain but I haven’t melted yet so I’m not so much a witch as I pretend to be.

 I can’t show you the beluga whales I saw because a photo would not do them justice. Just trust that it has been a magnificent hot and rainy summer up here in Alaska. Any tomato will tell you so.

Getting Sketchy

This is my yard in summer, around 8 pm. My brain is tired of thinking so I am just going to draw for a month or two instead of writing. I am a creative arts therapist so this is for my own good, to practice what I preach. Besides, I fell off the unicycle again and this seems safer.

By the way, every household in Anchorage has this chair. It’s the only affordable summer chair that comes up on the barge. I omitted the fact that this particular chair is held together by pink duct tape on the arm. 

Next time I will attempt to draw the 12 stellar Jay’s in my yard, if they don’t Peck out my eyes first.

Pokémon forecast for Anchorage, AK 7/14/2016

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Today on the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail it was cloudy with a chance of Pikachu. The pilot of the above helicopter was charging extraordinary large sums to tourists obsessed with Pokémon Go.  This was troubling to every couple I almost mowed down on the trail because they were searching for invisible monsters while their dogs and children obliviously enjoyed the beautiful Anchorage weather. It was about 70 degrees, warm enough to bake me in the costume I’m considering renting tomorrow.  What could be more fun than running through a crowd of people looking down at their cell phones when you’re are professionally dressed as a Pikachu?

This is the gold standard which I will rent if available.


This is adorable but probably difficult to run in considering someone may try to tackle me.

This next guy  is actually labelled “Sexy Pikachu” in the costume listing.


His figure is very similar to mine so I am starting to feel a little sexy. But given that both of these are probably outside my budget I may have to resort to this next costume, which costs about $30 to buy. They wanted $28 dollars to ship it which is common for Alaska if  also stupid. I could run easily in it, wear it to bed, maybe even to work and possible carry candy to throw at people in case they chased me.


I read on Facebook, (I know, not a reliable source, but who needs reliability for these kinds of things), that there were  about 100 people milling around Town Square Park in downtown at 11 pm last night. They were playing Pokémon Go.  I thought we had posted extra police to contain that kind of thing?  Maybe they were police?

Who am I to question this fanaticism? I baked 7 pies this month just so I could have something to look forward to. It’s not like I’m any more mature than these folks. I threw a water balloon at my roommate yesterday and I’m 56 years old. He wasn’t even outdoors. He was sitting at the kitchen table!  I haven’t been blogging lately because I don’t have anything important to say but that doesn’t stop anyone else.

May your world be full of monsters that only you can capture. I was informed that there was a Pigeot or Pigiotto in my kitchen for a short time this morning. My roommate, who does not have a smart phone, was  able to capture it  even though he felt emasculated by having to watch a similar monster prance around across the street.

The sky may be grey tomorrow but wonderful monsters will fall from the sky and  people with funny brains will be out to meet them along with some nut dressed like a Pikachu.

Pokémon GO!

How serious is your Donald Trump Anxiety Disorder?

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Don’t loll around in de Nile. Just because a fear is realistic doesn’t mean it can’t be destructive and take control of your life! Take this easy quiz to see how ill you have become and find out what other people are doing about their diagnosis.

  1. How many Facebook posts have you written pleading for people to elect a female president? ( 1 point for each post)
  2.  Are you still considering voting for Bernie Sanders? (5 points)
  3. If Trump appears on the TV while you are on the treadmill at the gym, does the treadmill turn off automatically due to unsafe heart rate? (5 points)
  4. Have you used the words “Nazi” or “Hitler” within two syllables of the word “Donald” or the word “Trump.” in the last week? (5 points) Within the last hour (10 points)
  5. Have you avoided playing cards so you won’t have to say the “t” word?  (5 points)
  6. Have you thought about protesting at the Republican convention? (5 points) If you have already bought your airline or bus ticket (10 points)
  7. Have you considered moving to Canada? (1 point as Canada is pretty cool) Mexico (2 points), England (5 points)
  8. Do you ever lose sleep thinking about the election then get up and diminish your sorrow with bonbons and bread products? (5 points)
  9. Do you think you are smarter than most Americans (2 points)
  10. If you had a choice between eating a live rat and voting for Donald Trump, would you choose the rat? (2 points)


If you have 9 points or less you are probably a very psychologically healthy Republican.

If you have 10-20 points you are borderline obsessed with Trump

If you have 21 to 45 points you have a real problem and should consider some of the following options.

  1. Join the Communist party. Everyone probably thinks you are one anyway. Vote for their candidate. That way you won’t have to worry about your candidate losing because they always do.
  2. Consider opening a bakery or a bar. People always eat more sweets and drink more when things are going badly.
  3. Remind yourself that you are not in control of the outcome of this election. You only have one vote and the more you try to convince Trump voters that they are wrong the more they actually are right because you are annoying them with your liberal agenda. Even when you try to get people to vote for Hilary, people may vote for someone else just to spite you for spewing your anxiety at them. Feel free to register voters but remember that  if you do this fairly and legally, some of them will vote for Trump.
  4. It’s only 8 years maximum, unless he is really Hitler.
  5. If you live in Alaska, calm down! The state is already run like a Trump hotel.