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What made me want to write today

1.  Watching the panic over Hilary Clinton’s health.   Let’s admit that all of us are going to die, make mistakes, get sick.  I would rather have a president with a mental or physical illness who gets to know their limits than Trump or Putin who have no limits. Leaders are no longer descendants of the Gods. They should reflect the imperfect population they serve.  We are vulnerable, but in our leaning on others we are better on the whole than those who can not bow due to their rigidity.

2. The 9/11 tribute I just watched was a great example of this. Public Servants did not run away from their job but ran towards it. Even though their lives were in danger. They held each other. They cried. Everyday there are things in this world to cry about. We are lucky enough that there are things to laugh about as well.  When a firefighter is overcome or a fellow social worker breaks down, I don’t laugh or pity them. I may fear that I will be next but I acknowledge my imperfections and move on. I attempt compassion and believe they can recover to what extent they are able with support.

pumpkin

 

3. Pumpkin Cookie Butter ice cream by Tillamook Farms. It has something named “Speculoos” in it.  It tastes good. They could make it anytime of year but it only comes out in fall because there’s a market for it. Its appearance underscores the inventional explosion of Oreo Cookie and Chips Ahoy flavors which are too numerous to name.  FYI, Chips Ahoy filled with brownies is a loser.  Living in a feeding frenzy for “trending” in terms of flavors and media, I want to push back, not just to the basics but to what real creativity is. Putting your own style together, making a recipe with leftovers, throwing some friends together and improvising a script that doesn’t have to be filmed in 3-D, seeing past an illness to the person behind it, and knowing when the rules have begun to break your back then coming up with acceptable alternatives.

As an actor, I enjoy breaking the fourth or fifth wall when it fits the scene. As a clown, I show my dirty laundry for laughs. As a social worker, I  let my heart bleed but keep my head on straight. As a human, I eat my roommate’s crazy flavored ice cream and cry, “O, the humanity!”

Let’s each make our own twisted way in the world today and hope that the weave spins something magical out of us.

 

Why I should never read the fashion section of The Sunday NY Times

I get ideas. I already had this idea or rather I stole it from a clown in Australia who works with the elderly. He dresses like a bellhop because a nursing home can be like a hotel and he makes it just a little more spiffy. I ordered a red jacket online that was pretty cheap but could pass as a hotel uniform. It has not arrived yet but I can show you the hat.

It’s made from a chicken pot pie box, some tape, glue, material, ribbon and a shoestring. It shows a total disregard for measurement. My roommate calls it the pot pie hat. Then I thought of Pol Pot and wondered what kind of hat he wore. 

There were no hats like this one in the Sunday paper although there was a page honoring Madame du Pompadour with some lovely pinks and shoes to die for. 

I’ll post another photo when the jacket comes in.

Where have I been? What have I done?

http://www.geekswhodrink.com/venue/private-events/49th-state-brewing-company/20160725/t-1469586402-img_0282jpg.jpg

I haven’t been writing because my computer is trashed. This is being written on my mini droid. I have been trying to get out and live the summer life, as in playing bar trivia with my roommate above. 

Here are some of the many berries I picked and ate this summer.I have managed not to turn on the television since May. 

And a city of fungus I passed on a hike.

Here is my friend St. Francis setting sail on a mushroom cap in our rain swamped yard.

What I look like when I have prepared for a commercial shoot which was cancelled due to rain but allowed me a two hour nap before having to go back to work.

Imagine that. It’s raining even now but we did get a mighty rainbow last week. Maybe after the big election we will see a rainbow of sorts. We can only hope and vote.

The fair starts this week so there will probably be more rain but I haven’t melted yet so I’m not so much a witch as I pretend to be.

 I can’t show you the beluga whales I saw because a photo would not do them justice. Just trust that it has been a magnificent hot and rainy summer up here in Alaska. Any tomato will tell you so.

Getting Sketchy

This is my yard in summer, around 8 pm. My brain is tired of thinking so I am just going to draw for a month or two instead of writing. I am a creative arts therapist so this is for my own good, to practice what I preach. Besides, I fell off the unicycle again and this seems safer.

By the way, every household in Anchorage has this chair. It’s the only affordable summer chair that comes up on the barge. I omitted the fact that this particular chair is held together by pink duct tape on the arm. 

Next time I will attempt to draw the 12 stellar Jay’s in my yard, if they don’t Peck out my eyes first.

Pokémon forecast for Anchorage, AK 7/14/2016

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heli

Today on the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail it was cloudy with a chance of Pikachu. The pilot of the above helicopter was charging extraordinary large sums to tourists obsessed with Pokémon Go.  This was troubling to every couple I almost mowed down on the trail because they were searching for invisible monsters while their dogs and children obliviously enjoyed the beautiful Anchorage weather. It was about 70 degrees, warm enough to bake me in the costume I’m considering renting tomorrow.  What could be more fun than running through a crowd of people looking down at their cell phones when you’re are professionally dressed as a Pikachu?

This is the gold standard which I will rent if available.

pika1

This is adorable but probably difficult to run in considering someone may try to tackle me.

This next guy  is actually labelled “Sexy Pikachu” in the costume listing.

sexypika

His figure is very similar to mine so I am starting to feel a little sexy. But given that both of these are probably outside my budget I may have to resort to this next costume, which costs about $30 to buy. They wanted $28 dollars to ship it which is common for Alaska if  also stupid. I could run easily in it, wear it to bed, maybe even to work and possible carry candy to throw at people in case they chased me.

pikareg

I read on Facebook, (I know, not a reliable source, but who needs reliability for these kinds of things), that there were  about 100 people milling around Town Square Park in downtown at 11 pm last night. They were playing Pokémon Go.  I thought we had posted extra police to contain that kind of thing?  Maybe they were police?

Who am I to question this fanaticism? I baked 7 pies this month just so I could have something to look forward to. It’s not like I’m any more mature than these folks. I threw a water balloon at my roommate yesterday and I’m 56 years old. He wasn’t even outdoors. He was sitting at the kitchen table!  I haven’t been blogging lately because I don’t have anything important to say but that doesn’t stop anyone else.

May your world be full of monsters that only you can capture. I was informed that there was a Pigeot or Pigiotto in my kitchen for a short time this morning. My roommate, who does not have a smart phone, was  able to capture it  even though he felt emasculated by having to watch a similar monster prance around across the street.

The sky may be grey tomorrow but wonderful monsters will fall from the sky and  people with funny brains will be out to meet them along with some nut dressed like a Pikachu.

Pokémon GO!

How serious is your Donald Trump Anxiety Disorder?

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crazy

Don’t loll around in de Nile. Just because a fear is realistic doesn’t mean it can’t be destructive and take control of your life! Take this easy quiz to see how ill you have become and find out what other people are doing about their diagnosis.

  1. How many Facebook posts have you written pleading for people to elect a female president? ( 1 point for each post)
  2.  Are you still considering voting for Bernie Sanders? (5 points)
  3. If Trump appears on the TV while you are on the treadmill at the gym, does the treadmill turn off automatically due to unsafe heart rate? (5 points)
  4. Have you used the words “Nazi” or “Hitler” within two syllables of the word “Donald” or the word “Trump.” in the last week? (5 points) Within the last hour (10 points)
  5. Have you avoided playing cards so you won’t have to say the “t” word?  (5 points)
  6. Have you thought about protesting at the Republican convention? (5 points) If you have already bought your airline or bus ticket (10 points)
  7. Have you considered moving to Canada? (1 point as Canada is pretty cool) Mexico (2 points), England (5 points)
  8. Do you ever lose sleep thinking about the election then get up and diminish your sorrow with bonbons and bread products? (5 points)
  9. Do you think you are smarter than most Americans (2 points)
  10. If you had a choice between eating a live rat and voting for Donald Trump, would you choose the rat? (2 points)

 

If you have 9 points or less you are probably a very psychologically healthy Republican.

If you have 10-20 points you are borderline obsessed with Trump

If you have 21 to 45 points you have a real problem and should consider some of the following options.

  1. Join the Communist party. Everyone probably thinks you are one anyway. Vote for their candidate. That way you won’t have to worry about your candidate losing because they always do.
  2. Consider opening a bakery or a bar. People always eat more sweets and drink more when things are going badly.
  3. Remind yourself that you are not in control of the outcome of this election. You only have one vote and the more you try to convince Trump voters that they are wrong the more they actually are right because you are annoying them with your liberal agenda. Even when you try to get people to vote for Hilary, people may vote for someone else just to spite you for spewing your anxiety at them. Feel free to register voters but remember that  if you do this fairly and legally, some of them will vote for Trump.
  4. It’s only 8 years maximum, unless he is really Hitler.
  5. If you live in Alaska, calm down! The state is already run like a Trump hotel.

crank

 

Crazy things I must do in order to keep alive

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  1.  Find joy in life even though it is not fair and I have been given much more time and gifts than I possibly deserve.

2. DO NOT read the news everyday.  Make small talk or change the topic with  people who dwell on catastrophe and politics.  I can never correct all the damage done by my people and my culture but I can make my own personal amends. I do not need to be sold on the right path. Remember that this path is not likely to be approved by my family, workplace or any major sponsor!

2. Dance everyday even though I am a terrible dancer. This includes the cage dance I was invited to do at the playground downtown. Thank you, Schatzie Schaeffer I had almost gotten to  9 pm without a healthy pole dance.

3. Remember to let my glasses fall into the port-a-potty once in awhile. I did this at The Three Baron’s Faire and immediately plucked them out. I should have let them sit there a bit and taken a photo.

4. Don’t expect my roommate not to eat my ice cream when he gets up with the munchies. Don’t expect him to replace it either. It is a losing battle and not that important but I can buy ridiculous flavors which might gross him out like mango-turnip crunch with chia.

5.  Do write, to keep in touch with friends and to let out my hopes and fears which as the song says are “baked into a beautiful pie.”

 

6.  Keep on riding the unicycle even though I bruised my rib and can still feel it when I go to bed. I may be a sensitive person. I cry easily and I want people to like me but I am not giving up yet. As one of my therapists told me, “don’t fire yourself, let them fire you.”

7. Wear the clown nose when I am driving, except when I have to sneeze.

8.  Always stop for unicorns.

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