Today I slipped. I was on the street, It was about 5 degrees and I learned a few things. You know you ‘re in for trouble when you don’t bother to put on your coat or gloves because you think you’ll be stepping out for just a second.
1. Hurrying and trying to do too much can kill you and at the very least make you look like a fool. I had on my pink shoes which I was, OF COURSE, reprimanded for at the ER, got dirt on my elf green tights, an x-ray, and a feel up of my butt.
2. DO NOT get up without help! Okay if it’s pitch black and you are on a freeway – GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! I thought I broke my tailbone. A car was coming slowly. One of my clients, thank God, saw me as I was trying to slither off the road. I knew if I tried to get up I would slip again as my head was all woozy. The car stopped and my client helped me up.
3. DON’T refuse the walk back to the office. Half way there my vision grew very tiny and I had to grab onto something. Apparently my Adrenalin gets very high when I think I’m in danger. Also my pulse gets very low. I barely got in the door when I passed out in a seat in the lobby. I actually saw little stars and had some very funny thoughts. When I woke up another one of my clients was holding my shoulders and my co-worker was offering me a ride to the hospital. I think it was just nerves because I did not hit my head although everyone thought I did and that I just didn’t remember. I am a bit clueless. I also have a raging anxiety disorder so I think this was kicking in.
4. Just GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Your co-workers mean well and you never know. Put on the johnny, get the x-ray. Try not to think about the poor people in the Phillipines who can’t even get an x-ray after a typhoon makes trees fall on them. You can always use this as an opportunity to explain anxiety disorders to the aide who asks, “What do you have to be anxious about?” My pulse was 45 when I came in. I’m in good shape but not that good shape. I was flooded with scaredy cat chemicals.
5. DO take the opportunity to let your co-workers shine and help you out. Often they are not thanked for their work. This gives you the opportunity to change that.
6. Do smirk at the accident form which requires you to get a blood alcohol and drug test after any accident. Delight in the ER doctor who refuses to comply with this as she provides medical care not litigation insurance.
7. Do drive to the drug testing company to get yourself cleared as it is in the best interest of all involved even though the form clearly says ” do not leave the medical facility without your drug test.” Presumably, they don’t want you to drive. Drive.
8. Pee in a cup, blow in the thing. It won’t kill you. It may smell like vitamins. Probably a change of pace for the drug testers. I blew a 000 by the way, even less than James Bond.
9. Get yourself a treat and GO HOME! I was shaking so much in the ER the doctor wanted to write me a note to get out of work. I said no need. My co-worker took care of the wonderful craft fair for which I was so eagerly postering. I bought a bacon burger and a coke then settled down to some serious BIG BANG THEORY.
10. DON”T go out and do shopping for Thanksgiving because you could get a few more things done in the snow and ice before the sun goes down. DO consider taking tomorrow off. Even if you aren’t 54 as it said on my hospital wrist band. I was wearing pink shoes. I can’t be 54!