RSS Feed

Tag Archives: Guns

Anxiety Woman goes to a Gun Show

I was driving to the hardware store this morning to buy a timer for my new “Let it Snow” holiday lights when I passed a sign for a gun show. I have NEVER wanted to go to a gun show until now. I had a few reasons

  1. I read Paul Theroux’s Deep South earlier this year. In it, he visits numerous gun shows to uncover parts of Southern culture with which he was unfamiliar.  I thought I might learn something about Alaska.
  2. There are many men at gun shows!
  3. I’ll try anything once.

This particular show was being held in the common room of a Catholic High School. I was not the only one who thought this strange. Everyone in the parking lot marched in the wrong direction to the church hall thinking- no it won’t be in the high school, but we were wrong. I guess The Catholic Education system needs all the friends and money they can get.

I was only slightly shaky going in, as if people could read my mind. They can sometimes read my hands so I kept them behind my back, like I was visiting a museum. ” It’s just another Holiday fair”, I told myself. “People will be happy to see you. Lighten up”, I thought.

No one was mean to me but there was no attempt to be overly friendly and no Christmas decorations or music.   They could have had some LED Holiday lights made of little pistols or a target practice booth starring Rudolph. It was a refreshing to find such a low tech affair in this season of bedazzlement. The only snacks available were man snacks – hot dogs and chips.

Yes, men.  This group was not diverse.  Everyone who ever visited my online dating profile, (and who was a real person), was in attendance. Lone, unsmiling men with not just a gun or two but with COLLECTIONS of FIREARMS are surprisingly available. I’m not saying these men were dangerous but perhaps authorities should scan my dating hits.

As Theroux noted, no one seemed to actually be buying guns. Everyone was just looking, like at a car lot. At the entrance, the historical guns drew me in. These aren’t bought for killing but for the craft and the provenance. Since this is Alaska, most of the old pistols looked Western in nature although I admit I was afraid to ask. I’m sure people don’t mind talking about things they love but I believe they like selling these items much better. I didn’t take photos either, because then I would have to ask permission and I was just getting by without pooping. That’s my default when I’m anxious. So I told myself, “It’s okay to just observe. Next time, when you’re really in the market for a killing machine, you can be more social.”

I now know what a pepper pot pistol is. It has multiple barrels like this one from http://www.deactivated-guns.co.uk/obsolete-calibre-firearms/rare-b-cogswell-percussion-pepper-pot-or-pepper-box-pinfire-five-shot-pistol-/prod_6305.html#

pepperpot

Army Surplus greeted me next. Ammo cans were available at low, low prices. Next came some more modern firearms and knives.  No poisons or concertina wire, stuff a murderer might want, just stuff for hunting and self defense was for sale.  A few first aid and survivalist items booths came stocked with clotting sponges and Quikclot. One vendor brought some random DVDs, cookbooks, Alaskana and costume jewelry.  I spent an inordinate amount of time at this booth even daring to touch the goods.

I got to practice restraint. Some might say I’m just a coward. I overheard conversations where I chose not to butt in and offer my opinion. One shopper began quizzing a vendor in a loud voice, ” You know what the sole purpose of the government is..?”  I was curious, in a bad way, to know the definitive answer to this one but God showed me the nature of my wrongs. The man repeated the question at least ten times before I moved on. I’m sure the vendor would have liked to have left as well.

Then there was the not so gentleman who was arguing, with a fairly reasonable salesman, about the rights of Native Alaskans/Americans.  He informed us that they were “a conquered people” and “It doesn’t seem fair” to have to pay in order for him to hunt and fish on “their” land. The salesperson did not agree and was trying to educate in a polite way so I left well enough alone.

This was worth the price of admission. I sometimes need to step back and let other people fix things or let them be unable to fix them. Also I need to not complain about being single.  The admission was $5. I paid it because that’s pretty cheap for admission to the enemy camp. Not that these people are really my enemies but at least I got a look at their weapons. I left without an emotional or physical injury and learned that Paul Theroux must have been on acid. These weren’t the folksy, funny people he showed me. Maybe if I spent more time with them, I would have seen this side but I don’t have time to give every white gun owner in town my empathy right now. It’s the holiday season, and that’s all I have scheduled for them.

I’m sure some of you have other insights to offer me. Feel free to share them in the comments but only if they include some humor. If you are short on that I may be sponsoring an Anxiety and Humor fair next holiday season. I’ll have to see if The Catholic Schools have any room for that. There will be lots of Christmas lights, music and much better food!

 

 

.

 

Advertisements

Grateful to Donald Trump

I am grateful never to have been assaulted by Mr. Trump. I am not a 10, I am not a number. I was surprised to find his campaign did not send either a picture or other identifying information for The Alaska Voter’s pamphlet. I am grateful he has forgotten since maybe that will deter a few people who might assume he is not on the ballot in our state.

The only time anyone has ever grabbed me by the crotch, I was walking in East Oakland after dark with grocery bags in each hand. A man grabbed me from behind using my crotch as a lever to rub against him. He was a special needs man and laughed at me when I cursed him.  This is who I think of when I think of Donald Trump.

I  am grateful to have made it this far in my life without a serious sexual assault. Of course there is still time. Even in nursing homes, where people don’t generally go looking for “10’s, there are assaults. That’s because  sexual assault isn’t about people being attractive. It’s about dominance and power. You could say it’s about wanting to be more like  Mr.Trump.

When I worked in mental health, I reminded people on outings that no one was going to comment on someone’s body in the YMCA locker room because everyone was trying their best to mind their own business and not attract attention to their own body. Most locker rooms are like this. I imagine Donald does not go to The YMCA very much. It’s easier to criticize other people’s bodies when you have a private pool.

Another great gift is Trump’s focus on  Making America White again.   Even the earliest migrations to America were successful due to the enslavement of people of color to build their settlements.   One can only be as rich as Trump by using other people’s labor to build an empire.  Queen Victoria, Big Cotton, Microsoft, Big Pharma,  The Holy Romans, Game of Thrones, your average workplace, they all insist that that human sacrifices must be made and those who make them will be rewarded.  Most of us spend our time trying to  be one even if it means that number two and number 200,141 resent us. Americans don’t like being average people. We want to be superstars and mavericks. I can’t imagine Trump saying that he would take a pay cut before laying off workers.  I could stand for making America mediocre but more equitable.

The Black Lives Matter Movement threatens the Trump hierarchy which puts police and the military and other corporations on top when actually these public servants are policing people who are their equals not scum. It is important to deal carefully with  those who disrupt public order. The most dangerous and despicable  deserve a trial as well as those with mental health issues. Many cultures question the death sentence but we hand these out daily on the streets of America.

Recently, it was suggested we start a neighborhood patrol or neighborhood watch for our street in Anchorage.  Burglaries are up. There have been several murders. One neighbor suggested we need people with military and police training to take part. I would say train the police to be less like the military and more like peace keepers. Let the neighborhood watch create a lively interaction between people who are looking out for each other and can help by banding together when in need.

Guns should be for getting food. I am not sure how guns figure in Donald Trumps life but they are implements of domination that I could live without. I appreciate that he is pro-gun because it makes it clearer that I need to be on the other side.

You may not agree that Donald Trump is a mirror of our inner will to dominate the world.  I think most will agree that he makes Kim Kardashian look like a potential write in candidate.  I wish you merry voting and a happy new era.

God’s letter to Santa, ho, ho, ho!

nightdeer

Dear Santa,

Sorry to take so long to respond to your last letter but its all I can do to keep up with my Facebook account. Now I’m hearing Facebook is old hat!  What are we two anachronisms gonna do? I bet the kids don’t even write in cursive anymore.

So here’s my list, top secret, no Wikileaks please. Most folks assume I’m perfect and all powerful, I hate to disillusion them but your polls are much higher than mine. I need your help.

  1.  Let’s get some rain falling somewhere other than Bangladesh and The Philippines. Can you do that for me?  Do you think a little rain, a little sun, a great year for produce would cool down tempers in the Middle East a bit? I haven’t been having any luck and I just don’t think new iphones are going to do it this year.
  2. How about vaccines for all the kids whose parents wouldn’t let them get vaccinated? I think I’ve got a few connections in public health who could train the elves to administer them.
  3. I want you to dump all the toy guns somewhere that people have a sense of humor or find a plant where they can figure out a way to use them as logs for those obnoxious tiny houses everyone is talking about. Second thought- no tiny houses for anyone this year and no fake guns. People can live in apartments and share toliets like the rest of the world and kids can use sticks to point and shoot at each other. Deliver lots of sticks!
  4. I’m sending the Grim Reaper to ride along with you. Everyone who asked for a Kalashnikov gets a visit from him instead.
  5. This is going to seem a little mean spirited, but I’m getting old. Please check your list and deliver the gluten free treats ONLY to people who have Celiac disease. The rest of them? Let them eat cake!
  6. Is there anyway you can think of to bankrupt Coca Cola and Pepsi this year without putting lots of people out of work? I keep seeing more and more teeth under the pillows and these aren’t even kids. The Tooth Fairy has me on speed dial.  Don’t suggest more Kombucha, please!
  7. We’ve got to find a way to discourage American football even further. Maybe a card with every ball that says, “A brain injury waiting to happen.”? How about a bumper sticker on your sleigh that says “Think or play football.” I like the ring of that.
  8. My so called “son” just stopped by and wants to thank you for taking the heat off him this season. He’s so embarrassed by all the baby pictures. He’s more burned out on humans than I am, I think there’s some internalized prejudice going on there seeing as he is mixed in background. Could you get him a couple of tickets to Star Wars? I want him to take a nice girl, or guy. I really don’t care, I just want him out of the house but when I tried before that ended badly.

I’m sure I can think of more things to put on the list but I know you’re really busy. Take care. See you at the retreat.

Love God.