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Cleaning up America a la Marie Condo

1.The Grammy Awards, The Oscars and even the Tony Awards.

Has anyone ever had a moment of joy watching the Grammys?  How much money are people making off of this crap? Professional Wrestling is more believable.  If you get chosen for one of these awards you should no longer be able to call yourself an artist.  Just like Olympic sport Competitions, you can’t play if you’ve ever been paid to sing or act before!!!

I used to love the Tony Awards but it’s hard for me to stomach the worship of people just doing their jobs. I would miss my garbage man much more. I’m not throwing him out.

2. All sequels and remakes.

I hear that A Star is Born got ripped off in awards season again I will remind folks what a great State of The Union speech our President gave the other day. Yes, that speech of manipulation and nostalgia. Just because you cry and laugh does not make it art. It makes it money.

I liked BlackkKlansman. I hope it doesn’t win anything because then I may have to admit that even the Oscars might get it right once in a thousand years.

3. Go Fund Me.

No.

4. All people of Privilege and their extra stuff

If you  have to clean out your overstuffed closets, you just need to go. It’s not the stuff that’s the problem, it’s you.  That includes, me and all my too small shoes and race tee shirts that make me think I have endured pain which I HAVE NOT! Running a road race, sprinting up a F**’n mountain is not pain unless you are going to be killed because a person or animal is hungry or angry at or for you. Let’s go further and eliminate all food that is not essential. Keep just one flavor or ice cream and one type of cheese. Can’t do that? How about all that kale you have to throw out at the end of the week? Let’s throw out people who are on diets and anyone who can pass for white just to be safe.  Make America great again -Bring back the Bison!

5. All expectations of fairness and equality

Throw these as far away as you can. How do we maintain even a dusting of entitled magical thinking into adulthood? Because we think we deserve better, better than THOSE people. We want fairness when it comes to us and so we will defend the rights of others except for a few people we can’t pry out of our resentment closet. They should die, like they do in the fairy tales when they are mean. Not like in real life.

6.Marriage

So you have a great marriage. Nice! You could probably live with the same person and collect child support without getting all those tax breaks and gifts and honeymoons that make the rest of us feel like SH*T.  This institution gives some folks great joy but most people suffer through it. My point is the folks who have joy would probably have it anyway so throw marriage in the junk pile.

7. High School and College

I don’t want to encourage lots of crazy home schoolers but grade school could just be repeated for ages by all ages of people. Your supposed to have learned it all in kindergarten anyway. The rest is too much wasted time. Just decide what you want to try and take a class in that or better yet volunteer or work in the field for a while. Start your family early.  Long years of schooling is not the only way to keep kids safe while their parents work. We can figure out something better than what we have which is just kind of a jail until the brain is fully developed.

I could go on but you have probably got my drift. It’s all gravy. Marie Condo doesn’t like gravy or maybe she does but she likes it on the side in a little pitcher. We can do without most things and even most institutions are just illusions of security. Fantasy doesn’t thrive with too much outside stimulation. It becomes codified and ritualized like the entertainment and war industries.

Have a glass of water and think. What do we really have? This minute.

 

 

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Her teeth

https://sachablack.co.uk/2017/02/15/writespiration-103-52-weeks-in-52-days-week-7/

52 word writing challenge – theme:  The distance between

 

I seek  the wildness of glacial boulders and the crooked country lane. I can’t abide by the measured distance between American teeth. Anything less than an assembly line set is returned to the factory for adjustment. On her deathbed, my mother begged for me, “Her teeth.”  I  lost them forever.

 

Truth in Advertising: State Mottoes

zombies

Not my map but a great rendering. I note that Zombies still roam free in Sleepy Hollow.

 

Here are some mottoes I thought up rather than watch TV although I did catch a bit of Sleepy Hollow. I enjoy a show where Ichabod Crane is astonished that anyone would make a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton. “He had the voice of a croaking goat!” It must have been fun to write that line.

 

Ichabod Crane

“Yes my character is ridiculous but at least I didn’t get cast as The Headless Horseman.”

 

Sometimes when I am at loose ends I think moving to a new state might solve my problems. Then I remember that many states are just as ridiculous as Alaska.  My motto for Alaska, therefore comes first.

Alaska:   Where Hell really doth freeze over.

Alternatives were:

“Come for the Free Dividend, Leave to avoid arrest.”

Alaska – Land of the Sex Offender

( We have the most per capita)

Alaska – When there’s no place else to go

or how about

Alaska – Even Sarah Palin knew enough to get out

whopalin

Of course, other states are equally as odd, and what is much worse, they are hot, as in over 75 degrees Fahrenheit. It is rarely warmer than that in Alaska. Consider Florida where many people move precisely to avoid winter. I don’t think I could make it there as I begin to sweat at 50 degrees. But here is a sample slogan –

 

Florida:  We may be old but at least we don’t expect our kids to shovel the driveway

Florida:  There is nothing wrong with old people but we do have more oranges than old people.

If you do a bit of research you will find that Maine, NH and Vermont also have relatively elder populations, and thus….

Vermont:  Yes there is a Bernie Sander’s flavor!

bernie

I’m pretty sure The Bern did pretty well in the Sleepy Hollow caucus.

There are many other states which deserve truthful mottoes which reflect their essence rather than their brand. Such as:

Massachusetts – Hope you can understand what we are saying!

or

MA:  Home of Dunkin’!

Louisiana:  We take off our tops because it’s hot!

(Considered a photo here but then decided to leave it to your imagination)

Oklahoma:  We have a lot of reservations

Texas:  We’ll leave when the oil dries up or the water, whichever is first

California:  It’s not our fault, okay maybe it is.

Michigan: Come for the water!

Oregon:  It’s not real, It’s a television show

Connecticut:  It’s not Harvard, but it’s not crap either

Mississippi: At least you can drink our water!

Utah:  Always bring a pocket knife!

(Reconsidered the wisdom of putting a photo here as well)

Arkansas: Clinton Forever!

North Carolina:  Don’t be gay!

Hawaii:  We may not be a state for long

Flag_of_Hawaii_Hawaiian_sovereignty.svg

Inverted Hawaiian flag represents the Kingdom of Hawaii in distress and is the main symbol of the Hawaiian sovereignty movement

If you have a great new motto for your state or your part of the world please add it in the comments. Political incorrectness be damned.

 

 

 

American Woman – A Psalm

 

My plate is so full

Of fasting, fitness and frequent flyer miles,

That I rejoice.

Let us raise a glass of fermented water

To the pursuit of eternal health and recreation.

L’Chaim!

My tapas runneth over,

And my points don’t expire.

Another Holy Consumer day

Posted on

Holidays are religious in origin honoring God(s) and Heroes

The Civil war brought us Memorial Day.

Our forefathers brought forth a new nation

Our forefathers brought forth a new nation

WWI brought us Veteran’s day.

"The bayonet isn't as important as it used to be" - All Quiet on The Western Front

“The bayonet isn’t as important as it used to be” – All Quiet on The Western Front

Washington’s Birthday and Lincoln’s birthday merged to form the Supersized President’s Day!

"On reconsidering the uniform for the Commander-in-Chief as it respects myself personally, I was against all embroidery. Do not conceive that fine clothes make fine men any more than fine feathers make fine birds. A plain genteel dress is more admired, and obtains more credit than lace and embroidery, in the Eyes of the judicious and sensible." - Letter to James McHenry, January 27, 1799

“On reconsidering the uniform for the Commander-in-Chief as it respects myself personally, I was against all embroidery. Do not conceive that fine clothes make fine men any more than fine feathers make fine birds. A plain genteel dress is more admired, and obtains more credit than lace and embroidery, in the Eyes of the judicious and sensible.” – Letter to James McHenry,  – G. Washington, January 27, 1799

There’s Martin Luther King Day

Let us be dissatisfied until the tragic walls that separate the outer city of wealth and comfort from the inner city of poverty and despair shall be crushed by the battering rams of the forces of justice. -  - MLK, Where Do We Go From Here? (1967)

Let us be dissatisfied until the tragic walls that separate the outer city of wealth and comfort from the inner city of poverty and despair shall be crushed by the battering rams of the forces of justice. –
– MLK, Where Do We Go From Here? (1967)

The 4th of July

A statistician made a few calculations and discovered that since the birth of our nation more lives had been lost in celebrating independence than in winning it.  ~Curtis Billings

A statistician made a few calculations and discovered that since the birth of our nation more lives had been lost in celebrating independence than in winning it. ~Curtis Billings(actor)

Let’s not even get into Christmas and Easter, Valentine’s, Mother’s and Dad’s day.

It may look like the way we honor people is to shop, but I think not. I believe shopping and the blockbuster films which come out on holidays are not just part of American consumerism. Buying things is of course a show of faith in our economy. Shopping and entertainment are also a way to avoid thinking about death which is what all these holidays have in common.

I feel strangely alienated from death. People used to have many children because a certain percentage of them would die. Now  many people only have one or none. The teenage pregnancy rates have dropped with the overall number of children born during the recent recession.  The purchase of chocolate has gone up.

I like visiting cemeteries, walking in them, running through them.  I like to visit my own mortality.  It appears to put me in the power position which I certainly am not. I stalk death, it doesn’t stalk me.

I went to some yard sales, to Nordstroms, JC Penney’s, and Lowes this weekend.  They did not make me happy.  I bought some plants to keep me busy gardening. I tried on some hats and got some shoes for a wedding.  But what I want is something deeper.  Not a memory of a trip or a cookout, not a bargain but  some guidance as to the purpose of life and acceptance of death.

My mother died on Memorial Day weekend 30 years ago. My father was a World War II veteran who died 44 years ago.  I remember Memorial Day as being a solemn ritual involving  prayers, flowers, tributes in graveyards. Tomorrow I will observe the 150th anniversary of this Civil War holiday.  I will try to understand why I struggle against my own family, against my self, against things and people I can’t change. I will take stock of how far I can go to change something important without becoming a perpetrator of violence myself.  I will listen to what the dead have to say.  That may sound scary but most of the quotes above are from those who have passed on while the ads were most likely produced by the living.  Not that all dead people are wise, but they probably have better things to do than shop and party. Or maybe not?