Let me preface this post with the fact that although I am not a bird, I speak bird fluently just as Harry Potter speaks parseltongue. As I found out from my ancestry.com DNA test, I am descended from the great house of Cockatoo. Those who know me will recognize the resemblance in this photo of my fifth cousin once removed.
Amazing isn’t it!
Anyway after all the hype about that common bird making a guest appearance at a Bernie Sanders rally in Portland I thought I might share a few insights. The crowd was roaring, utterly blocking out the voice of the bird, so he left. But here are a few things you might have heard him share which I have translated for you.
“May I build a nest with your hair?”” Never mind, the other candidates have more resources. Bye Bye now”
“Everyone’s looking at you! Now they’re looking at me! I love television.”
“There’s a hole in the roof everyone! The infrastructure is collapsing! You think that’s a good thing? ”
“You’re lucky. I could have been a WASP!”
“Relax everyone, I’m getting Union wages for this gig. Catch me on Portlandia in two weeks”
“Did someone say “seeds of change”? I could have sworn I heard the word seeds.
“I’ve got a little secret for you – nobody wins this race.”
What bird commentary would be complete without a little song. So here you go, I wish I could tweet it but it’s a bit too long.
“Bernie and The Bird”
(a big shout out to our buddy Elton John even though he wore feathers)
Hey kids, shake it loose together
The spotlight’s hitting something
That’s been known to change the weather
We’ll smoke some funny seeds tonight
So stick around
You’re gonna hear some socialism
Nesty stuff profound
Say, Ashley, Avery have you seen them yet?
But they’re so spaced out, BBBernie and the Bird
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bernie He’s not the borg
He’s gonna stop all wars, thinks that less is more
You know I read it on EatTheState.org
BBBernie and the Bird
Hey kids, plug into the faithless
Maybe they’re blinded
But Bernie makes them ageless
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
Where we fight our parents out in the streets
To find who’s right and who’s wrong
Oh, Argon, Denali have you seen them yet?
But they’re so zenned out, BBBernie and the Bird
Oh but they’re organic and they’re spiritual
Oh Bernie His politics are clean
The bird’s real cute, a youtube hoot,
But I’m not sure what it all means
BBBernie and the bird.
Oh, Biffy and Randall, have you seen them yet?
But they’re funded small, BBBernie and the Bird
Vote for Utopia and Underdogs.
He looks like Francis of Assisi
And for Vice President, the bird was sent
His brain is the size of a pea.
BBBernie and the bird.
Bernie, Bernie and the Bird
Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie and the Bird.
Bernie and the Bird
Bernie and the Bird.