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Truth in Advertising: State Mottoes

zombies

Not my map but a great rendering. I note that Zombies still roam free in Sleepy Hollow.

 

Here are some mottoes I thought up rather than watch TV although I did catch a bit of Sleepy Hollow. I enjoy a show where Ichabod Crane is astonished that anyone would make a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton. “He had the voice of a croaking goat!” It must have been fun to write that line.

 

Ichabod Crane

“Yes my character is ridiculous but at least I didn’t get cast as The Headless Horseman.”

 

Sometimes when I am at loose ends I think moving to a new state might solve my problems. Then I remember that many states are just as ridiculous as Alaska.  My motto for Alaska, therefore comes first.

Alaska:   Where Hell really doth freeze over.

Alternatives were:

“Come for the Free Dividend, Leave to avoid arrest.”

Alaska – Land of the Sex Offender

( We have the most per capita)

Alaska – When there’s no place else to go

or how about

Alaska – Even Sarah Palin knew enough to get out

whopalin

Of course, other states are equally as odd, and what is much worse, they are hot, as in over 75 degrees Fahrenheit. It is rarely warmer than that in Alaska. Consider Florida where many people move precisely to avoid winter. I don’t think I could make it there as I begin to sweat at 50 degrees. But here is a sample slogan –

 

Florida:  We may be old but at least we don’t expect our kids to shovel the driveway

Florida:  There is nothing wrong with old people but we do have more oranges than old people.

If you do a bit of research you will find that Maine, NH and Vermont also have relatively elder populations, and thus….

Vermont:  Yes there is a Bernie Sander’s flavor!

bernie

I’m pretty sure The Bern did pretty well in the Sleepy Hollow caucus.

There are many other states which deserve truthful mottoes which reflect their essence rather than their brand. Such as:

Massachusetts – Hope you can understand what we are saying!

or

MA:  Home of Dunkin’!

Louisiana:  We take off our tops because it’s hot!

(Considered a photo here but then decided to leave it to your imagination)

Oklahoma:  We have a lot of reservations

Texas:  We’ll leave when the oil dries up or the water, whichever is first

California:  It’s not our fault, okay maybe it is.

Michigan: Come for the water!

Oregon:  It’s not real, It’s a television show

Connecticut:  It’s not Harvard, but it’s not crap either

Mississippi: At least you can drink our water!

Utah:  Always bring a pocket knife!

(Reconsidered the wisdom of putting a photo here as well)

Arkansas: Clinton Forever!

North Carolina:  Don’t be gay!

Hawaii:  We may not be a state for long

Flag_of_Hawaii_Hawaiian_sovereignty.svg

Inverted Hawaiian flag represents the Kingdom of Hawaii in distress and is the main symbol of the Hawaiian sovereignty movement

If you have a great new motto for your state or your part of the world please add it in the comments. Political incorrectness be damned.

 

 

 

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About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

2 responses »

  1. I like Otegon! Glad to see a post from you Joan. Hope you have a Happy Easter.

    Reply

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