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Enough with the Salted Caramel!!!!

I did a search for Salted Caramel condoms today and all I could  find was this.

Looks like Ghiradelli's but it's not!

Looks like Ghiradelli’s but it’s not!

The salted caramel thing is just something for me to rant about because I’m currently unemployed and a little anxious. Sugar, salt and fat- that’s all salted caramel is.  It tastes good like bacon but it’s not probably as good for you.  People just keep thinking up things for us to get addicted to.  Crack flavored Pringles, Methyl amphetamine Oreos. Then there’s these.



These are just scraps – stuff left from the edges of the baking pan that have been fried in butter and salted.  I have not tried them because I like soft brownies which are not covered with crap to disguise the poor texture or lack of real chocolate in the recipe.

I have a bad case of seasonal affective disorder.  I moved to Alaska for economic opportunity but that was in the dark ages before the internet. I did not know that darkness could eat away at the human brain.  I love working seasonal summer jobs which means I have to find a new job in the fall, just when I feel worse for having this kind of a seesaw brain. Perhaps I just hate myself?  What is there really to hate about salted caramel?  It surely will become a hair color, house paint and tint for merino wool sweaters in the next few years.

It’s enough to drive me to drink, but you know where this is going.

It's artisanal as well

It’s artisanal as well

You knew there would be salted caramel vodka, along with the Captain Crunch and Fruit Loops flavors. This next one made me sad though.



Can it really be Bailey’s if it’s salted caramel? Why not Pumpkin Spice for Halloween and Peppermint for Christmas? There is no salted caramel holiday and will never be one if I have anything to do with it.

And if you are on the wagon

Is using salted caramel ice cream to make a float with salted caramel root beer overkill?

Is using salted caramel ice cream to make a float with salted caramel root beer overkill?

At least it’s made with real sugar!

Yes I am miserable. It’s Monday and everyone is back at work but I’m also not miserable because I needed a rest and I found a recipe for salted caramel chocolate oreo pie which I WILL NOT show you a photo of because it is just too decadent. All right if you insist,


It’s just oreos (With BUTTER) for the crust, Brown sugar, whipping cream and BUTTER for the filling then chocolate chips and whipping cream for the top covered in salt.  I don’t think most chocolate chips are made with butter, probably some even more unhealthy fat stuff and isn’t whipping cream just un-whipped butter?  This looks like a very easy way to kill yourself. I could serve it with Salted Caramel Baileys hot chocolate and die. Then I won’t have to worry about finding a job. I have a trip to see family scheduled so don’t worry, I’m not going to off myself by mixing alcohol, sugar, salt and butter just yet. Now I can get back to worrying whether I will get a job offer then have to tell them about my trip.


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

6 responses »

  1. I just made the pie. It does not look as nice as the photo but it is very rich. It kept me from worrying about myself for a little bit so I ate another piece.

  2. I tried salted caramel ice cream, does that count? It as pretty gross actually, and I wish I’d gone for butterscotch!


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