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Happy tips for a mindful summer

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1. Remember to shake your tent for scorpions and gluten before turning in for the night

2. Only approach near extinct species and other abused animals through internet memes where they speak in funny voices about bacon and the songs of their people.

3. Recycle used toilet paper and soiled diapers from vacations as postcards/souvenirs for friends and family who refuse to join Facebook.

4. Create a Kickstarter campaign for an organic salmon farm which employs only fragrance free WWOOF’ers.

5. Ask your local butcher if they use real or artificial kale in their meat display.

6. Boycott Walmart, Walgreens, Safeway and MacDonalds until they carry reusable organic menstrual supplies and free range internet devices.

7. Travel to enlightened countries where women are free to go topless.

8. When you become anxious because you have not created time in your life to do the simplest of chores, meditate instead.

9. Hang out with people who are unconditionally positive about you and turn all their rage elsewhere.

10. Feel the grass between your toes before you run out and start your own medical dispensary.


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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  1. Pingback: Happy tips for a mindful summer | polarflares

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