Remember Thanksgivings-kuh? Somehow I missed that St Patrick’s Day was always smack in the middle of Lent. Neither was I aware that St. Patrick’s Day is a sanctioned exemption from Lenten abstinence. Is the whole shebang is just a cold weather version of Mardi Gras, or a less precious Burning Man? I suppose that St Patrick himself is not to blame, but maybe he was and this is how God is giving him payback.
You want to take down the pagans in my name, Pat? Then I’ll make your holiday one of the biggest drinking festivals the world has ever seen.
Not that I am a big fan of Lent these days. Lent seems just like an excuse to diet. Giving up carbohydrates for God? He might want something else in his stocking. I know Jesus had it hard but he got more with wine than he did with vinegar, didn’t he? Lent is supposed to be about reflection and repentance but I don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to do those things with a few candies on hand. Unfortunately, I see Lent becoming an S&M kind of thing.
How low will you go for me? Can you hold your breath for 40 days?
Remember the joke about the man who asked the priest if he could smoke while he prayed? The answer was no. When he asked if he could pray while he smoked the answer was, Of course! So don’t be giving things up for 40 days take them back up immediately afterwards and quit praying just because those are the rules. I’m not against changing things up to get some perspective. That’s pretty much what humor is. I’ve decided that Lent should be less serious and I should spend it contemplating the absurdity of life.
It must be difficult for all the gluten free vegan people to find something to work on. Maybe they could eat bread and suffer through it? I could eat beans and suffer through bloating and gas. We could all not complain together and try not to even have pained self-righteous expressions. That would be very difficult for me as I wear one frequently.
I hope someone in the world is giving up their iphone for Lent so I can try it out. I have a flip phone with no texting so you can borrow it for 40 days if that will help. I think St. Patrick had a similar one.