We can’t grow anything much to eat besides potatoes and cabbage. Almost everyone ran away from somewhere else to get a job here. We believe we have enough oil to save America but even now we’re looking into fracking.
Alaskans need to show you our mountains, just like masculine folks like to show off their big red trucks. So here are some Alaska photos taken over the last week to show you how much I have to compensate for using up much, much more than my share of the world’s resources.
This is the big mountain – Denali, that most people want to see. I took the photo from Flattop, the most climbed mountain,( because it is so unlike Denali in that it is Flat and most of the elevation is reached by car!) You can see Flattop almost any day if the parking lot isn’t full but there are very few days you can see Denali. You never hear people brag about Flattop because it’s probably very much like the mountains you have in New Jersey.
This is FlatTop. It looks like a cake I would bake, kind of lopsided due to too much frosting between layers and the rocks on top are the crumbs that got stirred up into the frosting.
Here’s some scenery for you. Nice to look at but you can’t really farm it. It is quite an ecosystem if you’re into that sort of thing. Here is something fantastic that looks like nothing – The Tolsana Mud Volcanos!
Not sure you can see this in all its splendor but this is an erupting volcano! There are several of them in this mound of mud way out in the wilderness and they burp methane. This is what Alaska is really about. Just like Flattop you can see them anytime, even in the pouring rain like I did! If you want to see a boring conventional volcano that’s really scenic, we have them too. Ho, hum.
Just overcompensating for the more petite but more interesting mud volcanos
We have glaciers, which are really just ice cubes that have not jumped into a cup as yet. Yes, they look cool but they turn into streams and run into the ocean eventually just like your water. If you live North of the Mason Dixon Line you probably had your own glaciers at some point. If you wait long enough, you’ll have them again.
Here is The Matanuska Glacier which you can drive to, park and pay a fee to walk on, in your sandals if you like. People have died there. Most of the tourists yesterday wore helmets and crampons. My friend and I did not but we stayed on the rocky part away from the slippery ice.
I am obviously more impressed with the small stuff. Here is some mud we wiped away from where we were walking only to discover that we were indeed walking on ice.
Alaska is just like everywhere else, dirt and water. That makes mud. I think you know what that looks like. Oh we think we’re bigger and better than everyone else but that’s only because we believe in some artificial boundary which separates you from us. We’re just you, but a little colder and more expensive. Come visit when it’s raining, then you’ll see the real thing.
Here’s a photo I changed just to make it look cool and touristy!
We skip over the entire city of Anchorage to focus on the mountain just like the tours do!