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Goat races with people at the AK State Fair!


Who’s faster people or goats? I’m still not sure even though I was part of the people/goat obstacle course today at The AK State Fair.  They have these mini goats and you run a little course with them.  You have to hold on to their collar and treat them nice but still run like hell.  I did not win but I think I would have gotten best dressed if there was an award for that.

I learned a few things at the fair today. I am terrible with animals. I picked the tallest goat because I’m tall.  They’re pygmy goats.  They’re not supposed to be tall. My goat was a Nigerian dwarf goat.  Wikipedia says they were originally brought  to  America  as food for lions, which is why we probably have more lions in zoos than they have in all of Africa now. “They make excellent visitor animals for nursing homes. Some people even potty train them.”

Perhaps my goat could sense that I have cat like tendencies such as I don’t like people to pet me when I’m not in the mood and I often pounce on people in a verbal manner.  For whatever reason, it was not in the mood to run an obstacle course with me. I actually had to shove it over a hay bale by the butt. This after knowing it had deposited a number of goat pellets before racing.  Let’s see if we have a photo of that.


Too bad it’s not a rear view.

These photos were taken by my coworker William who beat my time substantially by kissing up to his goat.  Also he is only 30. He was so fast that the only photo I have of him that is not a blur is of his triumphant finish.


Have you ever seen anyone get so worked up about a goat race?

Full disclosure – I signed him up and  told him to raise his arms like that.  William was in turn beaten by an 18 year old who used the same goat  as he did and sprinted around the entire course. The first lady who raced fell in the swimming pool part and her butt was covered with hay but she got two seconds off for being nice to her goat.

I also got 2 seconds off for being nice  but  learned not to be too nice. If you ever get into goat wrangling, don’t let the goat lead!


Here I demonstrate bad goat wrangling technique.

The following photo was taken later in the race and shows that I am not too old to learn something from a goat.

Excellent form!

Excellent form!

I won a certificate for a free drink at Subway. This is what I wish I had won.

An 18+ pound turnip vs. 2nd place 13 ounce turnip

An 18+ pound turnip vs. 2nd place 13 ounce turnip

Let me remind you that I get paid for going to the fair and having fun. I’m the fun ambassador for my work. William is now my official assistant.   Despite the fact that I was wrangling goats all day I came home and my bathroom smelled most foul. I think my roommates were killing animals again. Either that or the salmon roe they prepared the other night did not agree with them.  On that note, here is a giant cabbage.

So beautiful, yet so indigestible

So beautiful, yet so indigestible

I recommend the orange creamsicle float at the Soda shack!


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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