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Why I love my ’91 Subaru

Dashing o'er the berms in a 4WD smoking Sube!

Dashing o’er the berms in a 4WD smoking Sube!

  1. Rides so low that I can scoop up change and cigarette butts off the road.
  2. Four wheel drive allows me to creep up behind other vehicles stuck on icy hills and wait for long periods of time behind them.
  3. Red body color blends in with rust and occasional blood from rusted metal scratching unprotected flesh.
  4. Grey interior good for hiding all sorts of dust, hair and pretending I’m super invisible while driving.
  5. Can blame all headaches, bad moods and confusion of late on being poisoned by ancient exhaust system instead of  meanness of own spirit
  6. The only red car not likely to be targeted by police, except for them asking if I need some help because me and my car look like we’re falling apart.
  7. Quirky little red button on the shifter that I’ve never used because I think it might trigger a nuclear missile somewhere.
  8. Official car of Anchorage social workers, assistant teachers, seasonal workers, people with unpaid student loans and long-haired dogs who like to chew safety belts.
  9. People get out of my way because they know I don’t care if my car gets scratched.

About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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