1. I threw away an $8 bar of chocolate, couldn’t find anything good about it. No will to eat it. That’s sad. Okay, it was gingerbread flavored.
2. Took a day off from work and felt worse than if I went. It was cookie day and I still had no will to go. Pretty lame. I did get up before noon though and haven’t watched a single cat video, so no reason to panic.
3. Uncontrollable desire to unfriend everyone on facebook. Oh the polemics! Everyone is flying some kind of flag. My new quest is to find at least one post a day I can make a positive comment on. Keep the cats coming.
4. Can no longer untie knots, open jelly jars, negotiate new technology or operate a motor vehicle without using the f word several times. Nuff said.
5. Have not had my haircut in 9 months. It looks like Farrah Fawcett’s if she had lived and it got all thin and grey, some weird layers, tangles and unintentional wildness going on.
6. Even though I’m taking enough medication to kill a rhino the tears keep coming. I’m reminded that sending in more troops is usually the first response to losing a war. Perhaps I could learn from that. Now I’m watching Due South, the old TV show, and I’m crying about the handsomeness of Paul Gross. Is that right?
7. Feel like there is consistent low pressure area in my head, a storm that just won’t break. I don’t want it to break but then I wish it would. I have no control of it so I’m just waiting it out in the cyclone cellar. Let Dorothy tough it out.
8. Running again. It’s a great way to feel better than everyone else but not so good for the ankles. It’s freakin’ cold out but that just makes me feel more superior, for at least 20 minutes.
9. No fun reading, writing, creating. I’m only writing this because I skipped out on work and would feel even worse if I did nothing at all. It’s not even funny but then that is perhaps the point. If I only write when I’m funny am I being as honest as I would like to be? I thought honesty was funny, maybe being funny is symptom of depression lite?
10. Wish it would snow! Does that make me sound depressed or just childish? Can’t change the weather, got to live with it. Now off to look for cheap Christmas decorations to see if they brighten up the gloom, or maybe I should stop fooling myself and go for a Tim Burton theme this year.