RSS Feed

Getting ready for the zombie apocalypse – Anchorage edition

It’s not bad enough that we have horrendous earthquakes which swallow schools  and wash away railroad trains, now we have to worry about zombies. The Municipality has recruited some people who don’t have a life, the undead, who all tended to look like middle aged single women, to participate in a  zombie awareness exercise. I volunteered for the extremely important emergency post of helping with make up and decided that I should be an extra as well.  Two scenes will be shot next weekend. I will not reveal the time or place as I have been sworn to secrecy but I’m sure you’ll notice the uptick in blood soaked sportswear if  you get out at all.

First thing I did to prepare for the upcoming end of days was to prepare my outfit. The guidelines were clear. No dangling limbs, no weapons, don’t scare the children. Hmmm.  So here is my attempt at a first impression.

rips will be added later for breathability during long hours running away from other zombies or running after food

 

I especially like my hat. Let’s show you a close up. I wanted to wear a Republican tee shirt but we were told to steer clear of political and religious statements. This is as close as I could get to irony.

 

thank you Salvation Army!

The make up proved to be more difficult so I’m glad I started early. I thought I was pasty enough but when I looked at my photos I positively glowed with health. No one wants a healthy looking zombie make up artist. I manipulated the photos by making them less colorful and they look about right. One wants to fit in  with your tribe. My favorite scene from Shaun of the Dead is where they have to pretend to be zombies. I guess I think that’s funny because I’m always pretending to be human. Anyway here are a couple of looks I will work on more.

I have the perfect facial structure for this!

 

Hard to get the camera to put more red eye in.

 

Of course people are going to be concerned with wounds. They are a serious matter. I happen to have one wound that was seriously infected which has unfortunately healed quite nicely. It may not pass muster by next week. So I looked up how to make fake wounds – just some fake blood, with and without cocoa mixed in and some tissue. To make fake blood you can mix corn syrup, water, red and blue food coloring but there have been so many wasps swarming this year I  bought some cheap glycerin blood at the Halloween store. Unfortunately, when I added the cocoa to make it darker it smelled sweet despite the lack of sugar. I guess it will look really scary if I’m covered with bugs. I also substituted toliet paper for tissue which I think is a nice touch.

 

real wound, was gross, but probably useless by next week

 

 

Fake wound- that’s more like it!

 

Before you decide I’m taking this all too lightly. Remember we’re all just extras in life.  I actually have an earthquake box in my house with food items I found too expensive to throw away and too disgusting to eat. I also have lots of water in bottles and one of those crank up radio/flashlight gizmos and extra blankets tucked away. I keep my tent, sleeping bag and a set of rain gear and old hiking boots in my car. Were you aware I have an anxiety disorder? I’m also going to outlive you, or outdead you.

Household survival kit: Note that there is a delicious Jone’s green apple and a red apple soda in there which I found too sweet for my taste. May attract bees which I will eat during the upcoming apocalypse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

One response »

  1. cool neck wound.. glad the other is healing nicely, but your right. not very icky zombie looking.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: