It’s not bad enough that we have horrendous earthquakes which swallow schools and wash away railroad trains, now we have to worry about zombies. The Municipality has recruited some people who don’t have a life, the undead, who all tended to look like middle aged single women, to participate in a zombie awareness exercise. I volunteered for the extremely important emergency post of helping with make up and decided that I should be an extra as well. Two scenes will be shot next weekend. I will not reveal the time or place as I have been sworn to secrecy but I’m sure you’ll notice the uptick in blood soaked sportswear if you get out at all.
First thing I did to prepare for the upcoming end of days was to prepare my outfit. The guidelines were clear. No dangling limbs, no weapons, don’t scare the children. Hmmm. So here is my attempt at a first impression.
I especially like my hat. Let’s show you a close up. I wanted to wear a Republican tee shirt but we were told to steer clear of political and religious statements. This is as close as I could get to irony.
The make up proved to be more difficult so I’m glad I started early. I thought I was pasty enough but when I looked at my photos I positively glowed with health. No one wants a healthy looking zombie make up artist. I manipulated the photos by making them less colorful and they look about right. One wants to fit in with your tribe. My favorite scene from Shaun of the Dead is where they have to pretend to be zombies. I guess I think that’s funny because I’m always pretending to be human. Anyway here are a couple of looks I will work on more.
Of course people are going to be concerned with wounds. They are a serious matter. I happen to have one wound that was seriously infected which has unfortunately healed quite nicely. It may not pass muster by next week. So I looked up how to make fake wounds – just some fake blood, with and without cocoa mixed in and some tissue. To make fake blood you can mix corn syrup, water, red and blue food coloring but there have been so many wasps swarming this year I bought some cheap glycerin blood at the Halloween store. Unfortunately, when I added the cocoa to make it darker it smelled sweet despite the lack of sugar. I guess it will look really scary if I’m covered with bugs. I also substituted toliet paper for tissue which I think is a nice touch.
Before you decide I’m taking this all too lightly. Remember we’re all just extras in life. I actually have an earthquake box in my house with food items I found too expensive to throw away and too disgusting to eat. I also have lots of water in bottles and one of those crank up radio/flashlight gizmos and extra blankets tucked away. I keep my tent, sleeping bag and a set of rain gear and old hiking boots in my car. Were you aware I have an anxiety disorder? I’m also going to outlive you, or outdead you.