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Alaska State Fair on $2 day

I’m extremely lucky to have gone to the fair today, when all the smart people go.  The forecast was 100% chance of rain and it was $2 day.  That’s a perfect combination if you ask me.  All the whiners stay home and the weather can’t possibly be as bad as I think it will be.  In truth, there was no rain at all except when driving up and not a line for anything that cost money as everyone who showed up was so cheap. There was a line for the petting zoo, but not for the many spacious bathrooms being ardently cleaned by a teenager with an extra roll of tp hanging on her broom. There was also a little slot for tips on the lady’s room door. Nice touch for encouraging cleanliness.

As I entered the fair, The Mat-Su Democrats caught my attention with a life-size Obama cut out. They encouraged me to donate and buy a bumper sticker which I was cautioned to affix to the inside of my car. Apparently Alaskan Republicans have been removing them from the outside of vehicles. I wish I knew how they do that. I can’t ever get a bumper sticker off. Although they could be ripping off the bumpers.

I decided to make my own Obama poster.


I didn’t want to smile as I might upstage him.

  Unlike other years where I have tried to cajole folks into going on rides with me, instead I ate and petted my way through the fair. This year’s most delicious, least expensive food item is the baked potato with sour cream, butter and chives for $5. I swear they are the softest, most Alaska tasting potatoes with about a half stick of butter and a cup of sour cream on top. The chives are pretty too. You will not find anything else worthwhile for $5, especially since soda is $2 at most booths. 

One drawback to going to the fair on the first day is that there were only three pigs present. This is not counting the racing pigs who may have been warming up or hydrating before an event somewhere near the track.  Empty pens abounded in the porcine section and I could not help but think of what a fantastic year it’s been for bacon. A deep fried bacon bonbon was being sold just outside the barn. The Republican convention also came to mind. Our hogs are probably the best delegates we have for Tampa. The pigs in attendance at the fair appeared to be comatose and quite pregnant. They may  have been Democrats.  You be the judge.

I hate the phrase “baby bump”

Really! A baby bump sounds as if it’s a fashion accessory. Ask these pigs if they would even consider posing nude  for a magazine cover in this condition. They wouldn’t even grace you with a reply because they’re asleep with the knowledge that next week they will rival Angelina Jolie with an instant family of 10-12 . These are classy pigs even if they look like hairy sausages. Don’t we all when it comes down to it?

You may know from my past posts that I love a good hat. I wore my pink tie dye fedora to the fair but was easily outdone by a crested bird. This crest was a simple puff but someone had put a little more effort than usually into their crowning glory. At any rate I guarantee they were disqualified from all competition, but not for not trying hard enough.

Phyllis Diller is back!

They can’t help it that they’re the stars of the fair. They’re so much fresher faced than the bands who headline the evening entertainment, such as “Creed” tonight. I admit that I don’t  know any songs sung by Creed but I bet they used to be more popular twenty years ago if they’re playing the opening night of The Alaska State Fair.

I saw a cooking demonstration for the first time. It was in a funky little corner kitchenette with a mirror tilted so we could see the counter better. As we got there early I puzzled over how these two ingredients could be used together – Almond bars – so named because they are melting chocolate that was once used to coat almonds and balloons.  I soon found out that had there been a reliable freezer present, which there was not, then the balloons which were dipped in chocolate would have been chilled and then popped to create chocolate bowls.  The cook put them in a cooler of ice instead and could not pop the balloons with a pin. I wanted to suggest she ask a child from the audience to bite them but  I might have been asked to leave the Hoskin exhibits entirely with their many categories of amateur artwork and baking.  Why is amateur baking so much superior to amateur art? A homemade apple pie always tastes better than a homemade pencil drawing of a fox.

Deep fried latex anyone?

I love getting my yearly fix of the farm at the fair. It makes me think about my food. If I can’t grow a giant cabbage at least I could eat a few greens once in a while.  Go to the fair and experiment with good and bad food choices for yourself. But don’t drink a chocolate shake then show off  your hula-hooping like I did.

I eat my cereal without MILK, thank you!


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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