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Why sleep is impossible during the Alaskan Summer

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1. Mosquito bites contain time-release chemical which awakens humans hourly to remind us who really rules the world.

2. Late night mosquito laughter and gossip after overdoing it on beer garden proof human blood.

3. The Battle of Thermopylae reenacted in early morning hours as 300 birds defend our world from the evil insect legions.

4. Children haunted by dreams of kinder, gentler bugs in far away lands such as ticks and wasps.

5. Disturbing odors of DEET infiltrate subconscious at night.

6. The crashing of tsunami-like waves in bodies of water both large and small as hoards of mosquitoes mate.

7.  Sirens from  police response to overwhelming number of house break-ins by gangs of lawless mosquitoes.

8. The incessant rumble of take off, landing and showy maneuver drills for 4th of July display of mosquito world dominance.

9. Unfortunate recent upswing in mosquito late night tap dance practice on human hairs in preparation for Dancing with The Stars – Alaska edition.

10.  Crepuscular uptick in eery echoes of insect drooling .


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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