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Fun times to think about death

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I think about death  when…

1. I get a massage. I can’t help it. I feel like I’m on a slab at a morgue. There’s always Enya playing and I imagine some geeky mortician ready to pump formaldehyde in me. Enya is a little like that “Go to the light” kind of music. I cry a little, as if I was at my own funeral.

2. When I eat a Big Mac, just one bad lifestyle choice too many.

3. When I think of the Dalai Lama. The only thing he ever wrote that’s stuck with me is about humans being  like a sac of stuff that is easily punctured and spills all over the place. Oh, the mortality! Way to pursue happiness Dalai L.!

4. When my feet get cold. It’s practice

5. When I read anything about the brain. It’s just way too fragile, like an uncooked meatloaf in there, with only some pyrex pans to hold it together.

6. In spring, when everything and everyone seems younger than I am. I hear Ron Paul started challenging other candidates to bicycle races in the Texas heat to prove how young he feels. There are an awful lot of Republicans to race at this point. Maybe he should wait until the race narrows down a little or race them all at once.

7. In the summer, when I go to the beach in the town where I grew up and see people I know only to realize that these are the children of the people I grew up with.

8. When I see a moose. I don’t think,”how cute” or “where’s my camera?” I think ” How can I get out of here as fast as possible so someone else gets stomped to death not me?”  Also it would not be cool to have my stomping death go viral on Youtube.

9. When food in the fridge is a week old. That’s all it takes, some bad food to land you in a box. Everything is a bit past it’s prime by the time it gets to Alaska, including myself, but the cold is a reasonable preservative. Beans are the scariest dish for me. Beans should be confined to laboratories only. Everything grows in beans. Look at those Anna Geddes photos.

10. In dealing with electricity, Electricity should be seen not felt. I would rather not even see it, just have it silently converted to something useful like heat or light. I just watched a documentary about people who got struck by lightening. It would make you want to assassinate Thor. I especially hate that little spark that jumps out whenever I plug anything in, the spark of annihilation. Who knows how many other sparks are hiding back behind those little holes. An entire army is waiting to destroy me through contact with the tip of my finger.  I spend so much time worrying about electricity I would never notice if I had cancer.

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About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

4 responses »

  1. I agree totally with number 1

    Reply
  2. Joan, I just love your posts. Some I am not sure if you are meaning to be funny or if its real but it always brightens my day to read them.Thanks for the smile.

    Reply

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