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What I’ve learned by ice skating

Me wearing a red light mostly so my body can be retrieved if I fall through the ice

First off, I’m not gifted at this, I can hardly twirl and I look like I should have  one of those beep-beep warning signals when I skate backwards but I have been doing it for years. So I have some wisdom to share.

1. Although everyone will admire a pretty girl doing pirouettes, the gal who falls gets the attention of the real nice guys who offer to help her up.

2. Ice, like some people, looks quite unforgiving, but it’s surprisingly more slide-y in a fall than asphalt is.

3. February in Alaska  has  little with which to redeem itself, President’s day and an unbridled antidepressant celebration of chocolate mid month. However, the increased light after work and months of cold make ice skating opportunities spectacular.

4. Sometimes it’s good to have a big butt.

5. Also, dogs like to pee in and on empty boots while you skate. Seen it! Smelled it!

6. Speed skating requires lowering my center of gravity which is about as difficult as lowering my level of anxiety. It is not a sport for the stiff legged, highly nervous or a combination of the two.

7. It’s always a little shocking to see blood on the ice, and a little reassuring to know it’s not mine.

8. There’s a  thing called a pick on the front of recreational skates. When tired, this pick serves as a reminder to quit as it digs a hole in the ice which threatens to become your grave.

9. Music makes everything better including ice skating.

10. Wearing a nice hat will get you appreciation no matter what your skating skill.

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About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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