1. I bet Fred Flintstone would be jealous of my car
2. My car is old enough to drink.
3. Am I racist because I hate black ice?
4. Whoa, Alaskan traffic jam, 8 cars stuck on Arctic between Northern Lights and Benson. Let’s get out and Occupy the McDonald’s Drive thru!
5. I can’t wait to post about that study where they said none of the people who live to be real old were vegetarians or exercised a lot.
6. I’m going to die early like my parents.
7. I’m eating all the Reese’s pumpkins when I get home.
8. I’m obsessed with death.
9. I’m zooming, I’m zooming, just like the Jetsons.
10. Hey there’s a woman with pink bunny ears smoking a cigarette.
11. I’m a woman dressed like the Queen of Hearts driving a really old Suburu.
12. Is it proper to conduct a psychiatric intake dressed like a clown?