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Won’t you be my neighbor?

Just 'cause I can't carry a gun doesn't mean I have to put up with you riding that snowmachine all night!

My neighborhood is one of the best in the city of Anchorage. Most of the homes are duplexes so it’s twice the fun at half the price. There’s a good deal of turnover as some people buy up to ownership and some get laid off and sell all their belongings. There was one of those summer long yard sales across the street a couple of years ago. The tenants have turned over twice since then. I’ve been here over eight years and may be the object of some speculation. I’ve got two good looking young men living with me. My neighbors probably think I’ve got them both on a leash. I wish I could get them on the lease. But  enough about me here.

Across the street currently is a woman with an lovely ankle bracelet, not the diamond kind. There used to be a whole bunch of people who worked at the Moose’s Tooth. They had a party once where the carpet was soaked in beer and they kept opening the front and side doors so several large dogs could do laps. I left the party laughing when a young drunken fellow attempted to get amorous. I wanted to get out before he vomited.  But we’re back to me again. Bad habit.

We’ve got a family down the street who breed pit bulls. Did you know that pit bull babies look disgusting? They’re  a cross between a thin human infant and a hairless cat.  I’m sure I’ll get some hate mail on that one. The folks put the babies out in a playpen in the driveway to scare us. I can’t show you a photo because when I googled “baby pit bulls” it was disgusting carnage. No fooling, not funny, horrible photos of children mauled by pit bulls. Yikes!

We also have a couple who drink until 3 am and then a woman repeatedly screams “I’m leaving” and a man demands she returns. Sometimes their drama is tactfully interrupted by a calm plea for “takin’ it inside” by yet another male in a different duplex. There used to be a group of guys who on alternative weekends from the couple, laughed loudly and tested out their four wheelers when there was no snow and their snow machines when there was. I believe most of us know it’s against the law to drive these vehicles on the city streets let alone drag race them around the block but I think the same interrupting male usually points out that his kids are trying to sleep.

There’s a very nice pilot who lives with his family in an old cabin with the biggest cottonwood tree I’ve seen in town. There’s a couple who have a child who dressed like a mail box on Halloween and couldn’t negotiate his way off our deck. All I could think of was Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird. We used to have some actors, one went into the ministry. Another went into social work. I’ve dabbled a bit in both and still prefer acting so I just do it at work. But there I go again. I remember reading that in order to write a good essay one should resist using the word “I”, especially at the beginning of a sentence. Reminds me of the 3rd grade teacher we had who used to warn us “you could put an eye out”. I thought she was talking about grammar until she told us she used to work at a school for the blind.

We also had a touring cast for Spamalot at the short term rental to the East of us. They took in one of our shorter term roommates when she locked herself out and didn’t even know our last names or where we worked. It was delightful she said. Another time I’ll get into roommates. You know they’re getting better with age. Not their age, but mine. I find roommates delightful but that’s another post.

Well, there’s always a vacancy in my neighborhood. It’s very convenient to shopping, the greenbelt, a tiny bit of violent crime and at least one large encampment of people living in a public park. There’s a babbling brook but you have to get really close to hear it because of the main traffic arteries at either end of our block. Oh. there’s lots of rain this summer. That’s why the new neighbors to the West keep their sprinkler on. Welcome to my neighborhood!


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

4 responses »

  1. Well, personally, I believe its your blog, If it can’t be all about you, what can? Also, “puppy” pitbull might have worked better than “baby” pitpull. The pictures still would have been alarming I’m sure!

    • I am, I confess, a pit bull alarmist. We had a couple living in a house once. They killed chickens and then got in a tussle with a cat in my lap and I have a scar. Although I think the cat gave it to me trying to hold on for his life.

  2. And I think, you should write a book entitled something like “My roommates and Me”. I will buy, even if you change my name in the book.


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