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How do I know I’m actually listening to God?

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Does God talk like a pirate? I believe he does sometimes. That’s because God makes me laugh. I think that’s where laughter comes from. I’m not sure about other stuff, like coca cola and chocolate which are wonderful but not as healthy as laughter. Laughter doesn’t give you cancer or cavities. Laughing at others can be tricky.  I think God lets me laugh at friends making silly mistakes and Craig Ferguson because there’s no harm done. I don’t laugh too much at Sarah Palin because she’s not really as funny. Talking animal movies are funny because they’re harmless and good natured.

Does that mean that I’m some God centered comedian who believes that certain subjects are sacred? Not really.  Some of you know Armand Volkas who would say “F*** them if they can’t take a joke.” He encourages people to joke about their deepest pain and sorrow in order to own and transform it.  Not that I think Armand is God, but he does look quite biblical, you must admit. I like his opinions on humor.

I think God is funny and ridiculous. He kills babies and drowns poor people. What kind of loser is this guy? I mean talk about screwing up. He makes me look like a genius. You’ve got to have pity on the bloke and everybody connected with him. He’s just not all there.

Like I’m not supposed to be writing this at all. God told me to stop. He keeps making my right wrist hurt  but look I’m doing it anyway! I took a nap today and so my hand feels just enough better to give God the finger. No, not really. I listened to the Broadway score of “The Book of Mormon” yesterday and that made me think about how we create God, and prophets who stand in for God.It also made me sing the line ” I believe that in 1978 Jesus changed his mind about black people” all day.

I think about how I profess that I believe in a higher power. But what does this really mean? The bottom line is that I will always struggle between what is best for me and what is best for others and this point of light or laughter, which I may call God, will serve as a compass.  God, sometimes looks like this. That is, somewhat drunken, at sea, but mysteriously attractive. I have to keep my distance as I’m sure he’ll lead me into trouble. Such is life. How do I listen to him? It’s not with my ears that’s for sure. Although sometimes a sparrow or a gull can carry a message. I don’t trust words so much as I can spin them to mean anything I want. God, or the good, is something I am learning to recognize and it’s all around even in some nasty people and places. I just need some clues in this treasure hunt, if you please, Captain.


About polarflares

My head is so big because it has so many holes and air gets in.

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