Divorced really means Restraining order filed
Separated means “I’m on the couch except on weekends when we cuddle.”
“Friends first” means the last woman stole my wallet.
Long term relationship means 4 syllables, that’s a long term. How long does it take to look that word up?
Social drinker means Kegger!
Conservative means I’ve bulldozed my way into a National Park and built an enclave where I home school my musical, plain clothed, cowboy children who call me “Papa.”
New to AK means just out of prison.
Liberal means voted for W!
Connoisseur of fine wines means unfriended Bill W. on Facebook.
Trim means Any size that doesn’t have an X in it.
“I’ll tell you later” means You don’t want to know.